Instead of listing my favorite movies of the year I'm going to list all the movies I watched this year in order. In order of what? Maybe chronological, maybe number lines of dialog but probably in order of how much I liked the credit typeface.
Movies
1. Palm Springs
In 2008 Tropic Thunder was my favorite movie of the year and I wasn't quite happy with that. It was my favorite movie but did it deserve that designation? With time, sure, fine, Tropic Thunder is great. Palm Springs is the Tropic Thunder of 2020. I'm rooting for you Palm Springs.
2. His House
A well made horror movie is all I need. A little too many, I'm going to call them "horror house", moments when a scary thing just stands there because they can't legally touch you. I guess I wanted more touching this year. Can't put my finger on it.
3. The Vast of Night
People talk about the opening "gym" scene and I'm going to talk about the opening gym scene. There's this scene, partly in a gym, that opens the movie and it's really good!
4. Dick Johnson Is Dead
A woman making a documentary about her declining dad is better than you're thinking. Unless you like movies about declining dads you weirdo.
5. Irresistible
This didn't get a lot of attention and, yes, it's a little on the nose and makes fun of Wisconsin. But it's funny, had interesting things to say and Wisconsin has things to make fun of.
6. The Invisible Man
Strange remake to the John Carpenter/Chevy Chase movie more accurately portrays the Chase role as a murderous monster that was only funny decades ago.
7. Mank
I liked every scene in Mank. I don't know if it equaled a story but I don't know if Rosebud being a sled is anything either. My last words are going to be "Jabba the Hutt set with included Salacious Crumb".
8. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
We're entering the "it's fine" part of this list.
9. Sonic the Hedgehog
Last movie I saw in theaters. To be fair I don't go to a lot of movies in the theater. I wish you well theaters, in that I don't wish you any specific harm.
10. The Old Guard
It wasn't Atomic Blonde but Charlize Theron doing her thing is good.
11. I'm Thinking of Ending Things
Everything at the house was great and I haven't been the biggest Charlie Kaufman fan but it had some things to say about janitors.
12. Save Yourselves!
I was hopeful because I liked Sunita Mani's Progressive commercials. In retrospect, that may not be enough to choose a movie. But this adds to my list of exclamation movies!
Airplane!
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
Top Secret!
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
¡Three Amigos!
Mars Attacks!
That Thing You Do!
Baadasssss!
Saved!
Anvil! The Story of Anvil
The Informant!
SLC Punk!
Foodfight!
Viva Knievel!
Zero Hour!
Return of the Killer Tomatoes!
Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation!
Machete Maidens Unleashed!
Zapped!
Doggiewoggiez! Poochiewoochiez!
Everybody Wants Some!!
Hail Caesar!
Mother!
Save Yourselves!
13. 7500
Joseph Gordon was back at least.
14. Onward
I have no patience for Pixar movies. I'm glad they make you cry. You think they look good. Okay. To be fair the only Pixar movies I've seen in the theater are A Bug's Life and A Good Dinosaur. So long theaters! The one I've seen most is Cars. Can I interest you in How To Train Your Dragon if you want a better story? Any Laika movie if you want a better looking movie? Zootopia if it has to be Disney? I haven't seen Soul.
15. Never Rarely Sometimes Always
You know those parody movies that just recreate a scene from another movie and that's supposed to be funny? Never Rarely Sometimes Always imitates so many indie movies without doing anything for itself. It made me angry at how much it wasn't trying. There's a reason the "Never Rarely Sometimes Always" scene is the only good scene in the movie. They had that short scene in mind and tried and failed to come up with anything else.
Television
1. The Last Dance
I don't like sports but this was great. Games have a natural suspense and climax so you don't need to write an actual story with those things. Like a movie for stupid people.
2. Solar Opposites
I was surprised how much this proved that the tone of Rick and Morty is coming from Justin Roiland and not Dan Harmon. The Wall could have a spin off.
3. Big Mouth
We've started teaching the kids about puberty. Would this be a good tutorial or a horror show?
4. The Mandalorian
I'm fine with Grogu eating the eggs for the record. And I love that there's a fisherman planet. Next I want to see the pet groomer planet.
5. Pen15
We've started teaching the kids about puberty. Would this be a good tutorial or a horror show?
Thank you for making my 2020 movie list for me. Don't worry, I'll still watch them for myself.
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