Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Failed TV Pilot Night







We've watched television before at BMN. BTN? There was V, the miniseries.



and TV movies like Invitation to HellDuel, Bad Ronald and Dark Night of the Scarecrow. We even watched an episode of T.J. Hooker on PCP 2 Night. This night, however, is more a partner with Unfinished Movie Night. These are the promises of better things to come. Think of your favorite show and how you wouldn't want the whole run judged by the first episode. Exceptions: My So-Called Life, Twin Peaks, Freaks and Geeks, Wonderfalls, Arrested Development and Lost.

That said, Poochinski and The Dog Police were understandably rejected. Here are the shows that were approved the same year: Hull High (which I liked!), Uncle Buck, Ferris Bueller, Cop Rock, and Haywire:



Lookwell would have been part of the 1991-92 season. Instead of a show written by Robert Smigel and Conan O'Brien the networks picked up Herman's Head, The Torkelsons and Drexell's Class. 



That's Brittany Murphy, A.J. Langer and Jason Biggs as some of the kids.

Captain America II: Death Too Soon stars Reb Brown (Space Mutiny, Strike Commando, Howling II: ... Your Sister Is a Werewolf. Oh man, we have to get Brown in the five timers club), Connie Sellecca and, oh yeah, Christopher Lee. TV shows that actually made it to air the same year were Flo, The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Pink Lady and Tenspeed and Brown Shoe:





A show where Ron Silver plays himself and has a talking motorcycle, Heat Vision and Jack, wasn't good enough for the 1999 TV season but 20/20 Downtown, Clerks, Daddio and Shasta McNasty were.



Here's what happened last week:



Thursday, July 12, 2012

Unpleasantness in California Movie Night



California is notorious for unpleasantness. Somehow they have both fire and torrential rain. Drought and mudslides. Immobile traffic and earthquakes. The most dairy farms but inferior dairy. They balance out Texas and the South in the Electoral College, however, so  I wish you good luck with your worthless, cold, shark-infested ocean.





I bought Slaughter in San Francisco for 25 cents at a garage sale from an old lady in my neighborhood. I'm comforted by the fact that people I live near may be watching the kind of movies I like. I want to ask that guy with the prominent brow ridge that doesn't keep his dog on a leash if he's into Stuart Gordon. Is that person with the "Unapologetically American" bumper sticker overwhelmed with all the Jess Franco movies? Also, is this a recycling pick-up week?


 

Chuck Norris is a bad guy in this movie. Although, to achieve that distinction in San Francisco you merely have to use plastic grocery bags and not pick up after your dog. It's one of his first movies and he's dubbed ala Arnold Schwarzenegger in Hercules in New York.





Cameron Mitchell is back with a vengeance just two weeks after having his own BMN





But the real story is that this is William Smith's third BMN in a row.





This happened once before, also by accident, when Howard Vernon appeared for three consecutive weeks


Terror in Beverly Hills is directed by a man from Eau Claire, John Myhers. A story credit is given to the producer of Hollywood Cop, also starring Cameron Mitchell. So this may be the closest we will ever get to another Amir Shervan movie.

Here's what happened last week:

Thursday, July 5, 2012

William Lustig Movie Night 2


 


Director William Lustig is a better American than you. The nephew of boxer Jake LaMotta, he was born in the Bronx and watched Deliverance 70 times. He turned his love for exploitation movies into creating at least three cult movies and founding the home video company Blue Underground. The best thing you ever did was speak briefly with Corey Haim and eat near Mario Lopez (if you're anything like me).



The Internet Movie Car Database has a weirdly thorough entry for Fever Lake.


Both these movies are the kind I just want to list the credits. Uncle Sam stars William Smith,





Isaac Hayes, P.J. Soles, Robert Forster, Timothy Bottoms, some guy whose actual credit is David 'Shark' Fralick and Bo Hopkins. That's right, Bo Hopkins, the star of Fever Lake! I didn't get to meet him, none of his scenes were on my college campus.


Vigilante stars Robert Forster again, Fred Williamson, Joe Spinell and famous tromboner Willie Colón. I'm going to ignore that accent mark and choose to believe his name is a hilarious combination of body parts. Wait!, if I pronounce it the correct way it becomes some sort of penis perfume. Now I don't know what to think.


Here's what happened last week: