Hopelessly Out Of Print Movie Night

One thing I hope people get from Bad Movie Night is a unique experience. I know there's only so many movies in the world but I try to find the enjoyably bad ones before most people. We watched Neil Breen movies before he became a pillar of bad movies. That link has a "Here's what happened last week" of Ninja Turf, a movie by future co-pillar Y.K. Kim of Miami Connection fame. These are my bonafides.

The two movies this week are out-of-print on physical media. Where are you going to find them, metaphysical media?

A Night to Dismember is by Doris Wishman from former BMN movie Deadly Weapons. In that post I marvel that it's our first DW movie. Well, we got to another one a mere 7 years later. In Bleeding Skull's list of 50 favorite trash-horror films from the 1980s A Night to Dismember ranks number one. That puts it four movies over Pieces. Blaspheme!



A Night to Dismember stars Samantha Fox. Not the mid-80s pop singer I vaguely remember:



But a woman who seems to be nude in her IMDB profile picture.

Hawkeye is a kind of Rush Hour ten years before Rush Hour happened. I love the acting in this movie so much. Everyone makes the exact right choice. Most notable is Troy Donahue, who we missed entering the five timers club:

Hollywood Cop
Deadly Prey
Hard Rock Nightmare
Terminal Force
The Chilling
Hawkeye

All this star power is in honor of Oscar weekend. Personally, I'm going to be watching the ceremony and eating such themed snacks as Black Pan-seared Scallops, Bohemian Wrap Seedy Goulash, Roma tomatoes, The Flavour Aid, Greens Book, and Rice.

Here's what happened a month ago:

Television Movie Night

I was actually thinking of doing TV Movie Bad Movie Night later this year or early next year. That's not to be confused with this Friday's Television Movie Night. Movies about television, not movies on television. 

"About" and "on" can be synonyms.  So I don't know what's happening. But I do know Shocker isn't about the thing you think it is. It's about a TV repairman, one Horace Pinker, who is too a stinker. He's a murderer played by FBI Assistant Director Walter Skinner's Mitch Pileggi. The lead is Peter Berg, who nowadays directs Mark Wahlberg being a hero in numerous ripped-from-the-headlines movies. I could see Wahlberg as the person that told Megyn Kelly she was fired or Ethiopia's first female president. Oh no. He's going to be some Red Sox idiot, isn't he?

WNUF Halloween Special is a TV broadcast from 1987 but was released as a movie 26 years later in 2013. Just like last week's Ninja Zombie, filmed in 1992 and released this year (2018-1992=26). Proof that 2044's (2018+26) METI message to 55 Cancri and HD 10307 stars will yield some passable movie night material. 

Here's what happened last week:

Cheap Movie Night

What's the cheapest Bad Movie Night movie? Ogroff couldn't have been that much. The Force on Thunder Mountain must have been a bargain. These movies challenge the extreme couponing of our most economical movies.

We were going to watch a Halloween anthology movie but, just out last week, Ninja Zombie snatched that movie from the jaws of da cheap. I said in the e-mail invite that the director went on to make gay porn. Turns out they were just gay love stories but I was at work and didn't want to click on movies like Rhapsody.

Plus I was thinking of people like BMN favorite Tim Kincaid who legit directed (well regarded!) gay porn.

The original file for Who Killed Captain Alex was destroyed. The only remaining copy has a "Video Joker" track playing along with it, which Wikipedia explains: "Audiences go to video halls where narrators called 'video jokers' translate the dialogue and add their own commentary."

A sequel to WKCA? (fittingly a radio station in Salt Lick, Kentucky) was completed but power surges destroyed it. This film seems cursed.

Ninja Zombie's director Mark Bessenger continued to make gay love stories:

and they were not destroyed. This is a clear sign that if there is a god he is pro-gay all the way.

Here's what happened last week:

Sharp Objects Movie Night

I'm from Milwaukee. More generally Wisconsin. Even more generally the Virgo Supercluster.

So I appreciate the Milwaukee Police Department's desire not to be stabbed. But I also live in a serial killer hotspot. Jeffrey Dahmer in Milwaukee, John Wayne Gacy over the Illinois border and Ed Gein in Plainfield. Law enforcement in the Bermuda Stabbing Triangle is on pins and needles. They might put those pins in a Chunky. They may put those needles in a full-size Snickers. But since I only eat Necco wafers I'm going to go ahead segue into Skinned Alive.

The writer/director of Skinned Alive has very few credits but one of them is being a zombie in The Dead Next Door, the 17th Bad Movie Night Movie. It also "stars" Scott Spiegel, who worked on Evil Dead II and was the director of Intruder, the 171st BMN movie. Does this mean BMN is all a part of God's plan? Probably.

Here's what happened last week:

Baseball Second Season Movie Night

Baseball Movie Night was originally intended for my softball league that finished last weekend in a triumphant not-last-place. But it also makes the perfect segue into the reasoning for the pumpkin seasoning: A baseball horror that leads into a future cult movie that has a lot of baseball in it. But, like, reverse that.

I haven't been forthcoming with this but Blood Games is a repeat movie. As an aside it played along with the 2007 movie Murder Party, a movie directed by Jeremy Saulnier, the now hot director of Blue Ruin, Green Room and the current Hold The Dark. I don't want to say I have my "finger on the pulse" but your pulse is 60 to 90 bpm and how else would I know that?

I watch all movies with exclamation points. This one has two!! Here's a list of exclamation point movies I've seen with the BMN ones in bold:

Airplane!
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
Top Secret!
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
¡Three Amigos!
Mars Attacks!
That Thing You Do!
Baadasssss! 
Saved!
Anvil! The Story of Anvil
The Informant!
SLC Punk!
Viva Knievel! 
Zero Hour! 
Return of the Killer Tomatoes! 
Machete Maidens Unleashed!
Zapped!
Everybody Wants Some!!

Here's what happened three weeks ago:

Best of 2017

Movies

1. Raw

I wasn't crazy about any movie this year. There was a lot of pretty good movies though. And the best movie was a French cannibal movie. If I mentioned how crazy the "waxing scene" was and you knew what I was talking about we would become best friends.

2. Good Time

I finally bought Fast Times at Ridgemont High on Blu-ray this year. So the second best Jennifer Jason Leigh movie I saw this year is this bank-robbery-gone-crazy film.

3. Star Wars: The Last Jedi

The negative fan backlash is bewildering. I know assholes use the "if everyone likes you you'ren't interesting" line but it works here for non-assholes or possibly assholes-in-denial. Criticisms: 

A. The jokes aren't funny and undermine the drama.

The jokes are funny and don't undermine the drama. Swish.

B. Smoke and Captain Phantasm were built up and nothing was done with them.

I couldn't care less about Smock beyond wondering how big he was. This was answered in the The Last Jedi. Apparently Cap Fantastic was built-up in accessory material. I don't know what that is, I don't know what she is and I couldn't care less she didn't "live up to the hype".

C. That casino planet plot was dumb.

That's fair but I'm into Star Wars for the aliens and most of the alien designs are in this section. I will be buying action figures from scenes like this madness:

4. Brigsby Bear

 I guess Mark Hamill is the Tiffany Haddish of white people!

5. Gerald's Game

For that one scene.

Limited Vinegar Syndrome Movie Night