Today's Movies

Biker Movie Night

I don't think people cared for the last, similar Motorcycle Movie Night. I think it was because of Psychomania because if people didn't like The Stabilizer I don't know how they feel joy in anything. The Stabilizer is so good I've taken to posting it twice a month.



But give me another chance.

The director of Pink Angels, Larry G. Brown, last made a movie in 1986, Silent but Deadly. IMDB says, "America's first black, Jewish and female president must save the nation from a smelly and lethal threat". It's the only mention I can find anywhere on the Internet. So maybe it doesn't even exist but it seems like something the director of a gay biker gang movie would make.



Dan Haggerty, back after only a month, plays one of the straight bikers. The guy who plays with bears in the woods. The Angels ride Ural 650s



which I thought you gear heads would want to know.

Nomad Riders may be a BMN original. I didn't make it, I mean I don't see anybody else talking about it. I got it because it's Frank Roach's only other credit besides Frozen Scream, our 399th movie.

NSFW:


And you remember how great that was. If not let me jog your memory. It was great.

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Today's Movies

Musical Movie Night

The last time we watched two musicals it was called Cannon Movie Night and we were a week into our celebration of Cannon Films. Well, it's just one week after finally watching Cannon's flagship production Breakin' 2: Electic Boogaloo that we're going to watch two more. I call this the Cannon Cycle.

Can't Stop the Music: (So Don't Ask) stars Steve Guttenberg, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner and the Village People. I considered showing this during Olympic Movie Night because of gold medal decathlete Jenner but it seemed in poor taste after Guttenberg killed all those Israeli wrestlers.

It's directed by this lady:



Little Shop of Horrors might not seem like a good fit for BMN. But it did poorly at the box office (step one for becoming a cult movie). It's an homage to a Roger Corman movie:



and it's about a man-killing plant shades of The Day of the Triffids, The Happening, Invasion of the Body Snatchers and that one segment in Creepshow with Stephen King:



Plus family is in town for the holidays and they just wouldn't get Nomad Riders.

It's directed by this fellow:



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Today's Movies

Competition Movie Night

 

What if the characters in these movies were made to compete against each other? And to level the playing field let's combine each of their areas of expertise, dancing and filth, into some kind of dirty dancing competition. I think it would end with a former employee rudely interrupting the talent show while tactlessly questioning the seating arrangement. Nailed that lift, though.

We've seen the movies director Sam Firstenberg did immediately before and after Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. The terrific Ninja III: The Domination came out the same year



and American Ninja came out the following year.



Which then makes more sense why Ozone and Turbo at one point just start throwing shurikens at everyone's faces. Yes, there are characters named Ozone and Turbo in Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo but rest assured their real names are Shabba-Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp.

The subtitle to Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo is so famous I can't not type the whole thing out every time. Plus it figures into the title of a documentary about Cannon Films that I can not wait for: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films. Hopefully they can top this blog's attempt to tell the Cannon story.

It's unbelievable that Bad Movie Night is just now getting to John Waters. Give me ten years, I think I can cover everything by then.


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Today's Movies

1983 New York Music Scene Movie Night

We did a whole month of horror movies and one even sneaked in last week since it was still Halloween week. We're sick of them. Pea soup sick.



So we're going with the next scariest genre, musicals. But wait!, these are actually "music" movies. Think Rhinestone or Trick or Treat and not The Apple or Here Comes Santa Claus. Hold on, I mistyped. Never, ever think of Rhinestone.



I got into the history of hip-hop when Boing Boing began featuring Ed Piskor's Hip-Hop Family Tree series. I started watching movies like Beat Street, Rappin', Style Wars, Big Fun in the Big Town and Wild Style. Here's Piskor's depiction of the beginning of Wild Style.



And if you read the rest of the series you'll recognize people in the film like the Cold Crush Brothers. This movie is like if someone made a movie with Chuck Berry and Little Richard in 1954.

I once joked in an invite that a movie (Vigilante) was "so 80s and New Yorky it will be like Ed Koch is spray painting your JVC RC-M90 boombox". With Wild Style's hip-hop/graffiti bent this is an even realer possibility. 



Glitter had the misfortune of being released on September 21, 2001 when America was too busy saving up for Zoolander on the following weekend. Of course it's also bad enough to be in IMDB's Bottom 100.

I kind of wish Sparkle had ended up being worse. We could have had Shiny Period Music Drama. Curse you Sparkle for being adequate!

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Today's Movies

Sexual Politics Movie Night

Virgins and babies have always hated each other, despite all virgins having been babies and all babies being virgins. And they can't see eye-to-eye on privatizing Social Security. Such is the state of sexual politics.

Virgins From Hell was scheduled once before. Netflix says I watched it 3 years and four months ago. The only thing older that I've wanted to show is Zero Boys from 3 years, 9 months ago.



Maybe I'm just waiting for another paintball movie so I can have Paintball Night. There's Born Killer,



written by David "Deadly Prey" Prior and Ted "I was also involved in Deadly Prey" Prior. Of course there's Gotcha!, which has already been suggested for an espionage theme.

Speaking of no possible segue, Virgins From Hell is out of Indonesia, meaning it's great, and you will see a lot of familiar faces if you've seen The Intruder or The Stabilizer or if you're RACIST.

Sorry, I don't even know what that means. Here's The Stabilizer in its (legal!) entirety:



The Suckling is the latest and possibly last of our killer baby movies. So stop having babies.

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