Best Movies of 2024 #10-1

Movies not watched in time to make the list are Nutcrackers, which very well might be the new bottom. Hot Frosty should have leaned more into it or away from it. It had a leaning problem. Evil Does Not Exist does not make the top ten. Blink was a fine documentary and Lee is not the best war photographer movie of the year.

10. Rebel Ridge

Jeremy Saulnier first appeared on this blog 13 years ago with his debut movie Murder Party at Bad Movie Night. His following movie Blue Ruin was my favorite movie ten years ago. Green Room seems to be a fan favorite. And then he made a wolf movie. Well, he's back. Seventh best scene is the opening:

9. Green Border

Not to be confused with the Green Room sequel Green Boarder, this is a very serious movie that's incredibly well-made. So I don't have to pretend to like a movie because of its "importance".

8. Challengers

A lot has been made about how Gen Z doesn't like sex scenes in their movies. So we get this sexy movie without much sex. But some harrowingly explicit tennis.

7. Arcadian

My favorite horror movie of the year that was most dismissed as a Quiet Place clone. I see it as an interesting Quiet Place tweak, like those cool alternate Sigourney Weaver clones in Alien 4.

6. Kim's Video

Others also called this documentary "a mess" and the director "annoying". That's true but the subject matter was too interesting to matter. 

5. The Coffee Table

Siskel and Ebert would say the criteria for a thumbs up was if you would recommend the movie to a friend. I wouldn't recommend The Coffee Table to anyone. The tension comes from someone having to deliver the worst news in the world that will destroy the other person. Oh, and it's a comedy. Thumbs down, I laughed a lot and was horrified.

4. His Three Daughters

I loved Carrie Coon, I loved Natasha Lyonne and now I love Elizabeth Olsen. I have so much love to give. So scene eight I'll call the laughing scene is from The Coffee Table. It's not out there right now. Scene nine is the monologue at the end of this movie that's a spoiler. To make up for the lack of videos here's a picture:

3. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

I'm not doing this on purpose. I don't mean to rock the boat. I'm nothing if not a team player. But Furiosa is better than Fury Road. 

2. Love Lies Bleeding

What else would you expect from the director of quiet, religious psychological thriller Saint Maud than a "hilarious, bloody film noir" made by "a lesbian intellectual addicted to steroids" as John Waters called it.

1. Hit Man

Richard Linklater's Everybody Wants Some!! was my favorite movie of 2016 (and it's better than Dazed and Confused, I can't stop doing this) so I wasn't blindsided by the rise of Glen Powell this year. They reteam here for a gentle rom com with some murder. Sorry Green Border, you should have had more wacky costumes. And one of the top ten movie scenes of 2024, the notes app scene:

Best Television of 2024

1. Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Is the key for good TV taking a mediocre movie and turning it into a show? Let me see, there's Buffy. And... you know I'm not coming up with anything. I needed a third example for it to be a thing. Nevermind.

2. Hacks

Hacks, of course. is based on 1995's Hackers, a movie that brought together Jonny Lee Miller and Angelia Jolie. Which is weird because Mr. and Mrs. Smith brought together Jolie and Brad Pitt. 

3. English Teacher

And English Teacher comes from the early Brad Pitt movie Cutting Class.

It's the movie that brought together Brad Pitt and Jill Schoelen.

4. One More Time

This is a Canadian show I liked that has no connections to actual show business.

5. The Bear

The Bear is a bizarre take on Babes in Toyland with Jill Schoelen and a man she started dating, Keanu Reeves. They changed the setting to Chicago from Cincinnati even though the movie has the famous song:

To bring it all around Keanu Reeves met Winona Ryder on Bram Stoker's Dracula (What We Do In The Shadows) and Winona met Angelina Jolie on Girl, Interrupted which was adapted into Ted.

Best Movies of 2024 #25-11

24. Dune: Part Two

I have no interest in Dune. It took me three tries to get through the first one. But I got sick in July so I had the 17 hours to watch those movies and you know what? Not bad.

23. Inside Out 2

I've seen the first Inside Out but I wasn't trapped in a theater having to give it my full attention like I was for the sequel so this one was better. 

22. The Greatest Night In Pop

An early leader for best movie of the year, thank god 22 movies ending up being better. It has the fourth top ten best scene of the year. After mostly ignoring Al Jarreau's contribution they finally have a section just talking about how drunk he was. No one has excerpted that on YouTube so please enjoy the video for Mornin' instead:

21. Flipside

A documentary made up of failed documentaries to make a documentary about unrealized potential. Or maybe it's about Flipsiders, an 80s toy I really liked.

20. Deadpool & Wolverine

People complain about the jokes in the Avengers movies being forced but these movies should be all jokes because really, who cares?

19. Speak No Evil

I watched the Dutch version of this too this year and it is DARK. The American version gets a little carried away with the changes by dispensing with the horror and everyone just has a nice day at a botanical garden.

18. Kinds of Kindness

Part three of the Margaret Qualley trilogy. More importantly, the fifth top ten scene is a credit sequence that appears in the middle of the movie and has very little to do with what became before or after. These scenes have to come in the order of the movies but that's the best scene in any movie this year.

17. The Fall Guy

I never watched The Fall Guy. I watched Remington Steele, Cagney & Lacey, Hart to Hart, Riptide, Crazy Like A Fox, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Moonlighting, Hunter, Knight Rider and Misfits of Science but never The Fall Guy. The sixth top ten scene is where the Fall Guy cries:

16. Monster

The second, better Monster released this year. This one was directed by Hirokazu Koreeda. Hopefully that distinguishes it enough. If a director ever releases two movies in the same year by the same title god help me.

15. Boy Kills World

The best beat 'em up movie of the year. If any movie in the future is brave enough to have realistic punching sounds where it doesn't sound like much of anything I'm putting you at the top!

14. Longlegs

Am I expected to remember every movie? I saw a lot of movies this year! It had a certain style. Maybe Fincher-y? Alicia Witt was in it. The kid from Twin Peaks is starring in movies!

13. Thelma

An action movie starring a 91-year-old so all the action scenes are about walking on uneven ground and figuring out how to close pop-ups.

12. Alien: Romulus

The third best Alien movie and I like Alien Cubed and the fourth one. I haven't seen the Predator ones. Or those pseudo-Alien Ridley Scott ones. Don't listen to me.

11. Blink Twice

I couldn't blink once keeping my eyes on this nail-biting thriller! 

Best Music of 2024

Like I said last year I don't listen to music anymore but I looked at all the best of lists and here is what caught my ear.

1. Mammoth Penguins - Here

This wasn't on any lists but I thankfully caught it. Remember I named Chappell Roan's album the best last year and then it took off in popularity. Prepare for 2025 to be the year of Mammoth Penguins.

2. Doechii - Alligator Bites Never Heal

As someone outside the music scene I have to assume songs about Nissans were all of the sudden popular this year?

and Nx Worries – 86 Sentra:

3. Being Dead - EELS

To show how out of touch I am, when I saw this on best of lists I was surprised The Eels had a hit record this year. Looking it up they merely have a record this year (it sounds fine). No, this is Being Dead. I looked for this album at the record store I used to frequent and they didn't have it so I'm cool.

4. MICHELLE - Songs About You Specifically

I don't know what this band is and I'm not looking it up. Are they a girl group? Different members seem to take turns singing a song. Is that what I think a girl group is?

5. Samara Cyn - 

Because there should be more music videos on bicycles:

Honorable mention for Brat and Cowboy Carter.

Best Movies of 2024 #39-26

39. Woman of the Hour

The best movie bringing together true crime and game shows since The Supermarket Sweep Massacre.

38. Cuckoo

A family goes to a mountain resort in the off season, with the youngest exhibiting unusual abilities. It's not the Shining, though, because this off season is in the summer. Geez, when are mountain resorts open? They're good for, like, three weeks and the rest of the time it's for supernatural activity.

37. The Substance

Another loved movie. It's very good. We're in the very good range now. But I could see this being a Tales From The Crypt from the 90s. Not a bad thing! Also, part two of the Margaret Qualley 2024 Trilogy.

36. Perfect Days

Another cusp movie that has been on best of lists last year and this year. It's about a man who cleans bathrooms, has a couple of interactions, learns more about himself and then the movie ends. It's magic!

35. The Beekeeper

The lesser action movie this year about a senior getting scammed over the internet. It still ranks pretty high so I think this might be the biggest action movie formula since Die Hard on a [blank].

34. Monkey Man

The kid from Slumdog Millionaire is directing movies. And the little girl at the end of Wax's California video has a movie with Pamela Anderson in theaters now. Show me any part of that sentence that isn't interesting.

33. Emilia Perez

The highest rated musical on my list. I'll see Wicked eventually. I just found out it's written by Winnie Holzman, creator of My So-Called Life!

32. I Like Movies

This is a two year old Canadian movie. What's the deal. Canada? I thought we were friends. Russia got it a year and a half ago!?

31. Freaknik: The Wildest Party Never Told

A large street party in Atlanta in the 90s, this documentary had to rely on footage people took at the time with camcorders. So it's 90% booty shaking. Five stars.

30. Laroy, Texas

I haven't seen anyone mention this movie, I only saw it on a list of Rotten Tomatoes movies with 100% good reviews. It makes sense, it's an easy to like, hard to love Coen-y, Red Rock West-type movie.

29. Lisa Frankenstein

Yes, it happened again. A Diablo Cody-penned horror comedy gets mixed reviews but is actually really good.

28. Mr. Crocket

Not a lot of people liked this horror movie about a killer Picture Pages-esque show.

Imagine if that was hosted by a bad man. Frightening. 

27. Maxxxine

I'd have to watch them all again but I think this is my favorite of the trilogy. Common consensus puts it as the worst. This section is becoming Michael's Horror Hot Takes!

26. Civil War

The better/worse of the war photographer movies this year. I thought this one was superior/inferior. I'm watching Lee tomorrow and this is a place holder. This has number three in the top ten scenes list, The Jesse Plemons scene:

Best Movies of 2024 #54-40

54. Monster

There are two movies named Monster this year. This is not to be confused with movies named Monster from previous years. This is not the Charlize Theron one. You'd think once a movie wins an Oscar they'd maybe own that title, unofficially anyway. But after that there was an A$AP Rocky Monster and a few others. This one is directed by Rako Prijanto.

53. Late Night With The Devil

The ultimate movie in fake TV shows on Halloween is the WNUF Halloween Special.

This one doesn't quite reach the heights of that one. It needed more fake commercials.

52. Hundreds of Beavers

People are very enthusiastic about this one. I have unearned pride that the makers are from Wisconsin. But a lot of the gags don't work. I'll repeat what I told the Skinamarink people, it's perfectly acceptable for your movie to be 70 minutes long.

51. In A Violent Nature

It was always a mystery what Jason Voorhees was doing when he was off screen.  Especially when a kill required some set up. This movie shows he just falls ass-backwards into murder.

50. Sometimes I Think About Dying

I don't know when an understated movie where nothing happens turns from boring to good. It's like magic. Sometimes I Think About Dying is magic.

49. A Quiet Place: Day One

On the other end, a movie with monsters that will kill you if you make a sound is immediately compelling. I could watch scenes of people trying to be quiet over and over again. It can't miss!

48. It's What's Inside

This is a multiple-bodies swap movie. I'm sure there was a lot of planning on how to keep it from being confusing to the viewer on who was who. I was still confused.

47. Wicked Little Letters

I could watch Jessie Buckley and Olivia Colman read the phone book but those don't exist anymore. So I'll settle for them reading rude words in this movie.

46. Babes

McMahon reaction meme: Stars Ilana Glazer. Directed by Pamela Adlon! That's it. Just the first two frames of that meme.

45. Will & Harper

There's a lot of horror movies on this list but I don't know if I was more scared than when Will Farrell and newly transitioned Harper Steele go into a rural Texas bar.

44. The End We Start From

Between this and The Bikeriders, Jodie Comer might be my Best New Artist. No, I never watched Killing Eve!

43. Late Bloomers

I watched a non-2024 film called Dual with Karen Gillan and she was great in that movie too. Best New Artist goes to Karen Gillan if I hadn't already knew her from Guardians of the Galaxy. No, I never watched Doctor Who!

42. Robot Dreams

Is Robot Dreams the best animated movie this year that features a purchased robot stuck on a beach? I don't know, I only watched the first four minutes of The Wild Robot. But a dog lives in 80s New York City in this one. That gives it a leg up. Heh.

41. My Old Ass

There's a scene in My Old Ass where Aubrey Plaza hugs Chad and it's the most touching moment in a movie this year. I give it my second top ten scene (scene unavailable).

40. The First Omen

The is the movie that bested Immaculate with it's similarness. It got me back on the religious horror bandwagon which I was so sick of. Religion isn't scary except for the real world terrifying things it does. But I'm glad it makes you more at ease. Worth it.

Best Movies of 2024 #70-55

70. Out of Darkness

There's a little bit of forest in this but not enough and I don't know if I buy the ending. Come back to me with these revisions and we can reassess, Out of Darkness.

69. Sting

This isn't about the singer but rather space spiders. Frankly I would have preferred a feature length exploration into whatever this is:

68. Snack Shack

The best part of this movie is a scene where one of the main characters falls down the stairs. Now usually that's not my kind of humor but I'm pretty sure it's real and it's the actor falling. It made me laugh so much. I don't have the clip handy but if you have Amazon Prime and go to 48:10 could you let me know if you think that's a mistake they just left in or not?

67. Femme

Do you wish the guy from 1917 was constantly going to maybe beat up the man he's seeing? Have I got the movie for you!

66. Stopmotion 

If I can't see The Primevals anywhere

this movie will have to do. The stopmotion creatures are real creepy,

65. Parachute 

I had to look this movie up more than once to remember which one it is. That might be damning but when I was reminded I had positive thoughts. So for the poster they can use: Enjoyable characters if you can recall them. 

64. Milk and Serial 

A YouTube found footage horror movie that made a splash. But one of those Olympic athlete diver splashes where it just goes 'splip'.

63. The Remarkable Life of Ibelin 

Hard to not like this documentary about a man's online life while confined to a wheelchair. Even if I didn't like it I couldn't say so without sounding like a jerk. Probably shouldn't even mention that, now I sound insincere. Look, forget the whole thing. The movie's garbage, what do I care?

62. Fanatical: The Catfishing of Tegan and Sara

Did any review of this use the lede "Everything is not awesome..." because that would be terrible and they should be ashamed. 

61. Trap

The sequel to this could be 2 Trap: Part 2 because it's a palindrome and at the same time very clever.

60. Breakin' On The One

There's a big debate on who won this break dancing battle but I still only remember The Rocksteady Crew name so I think that's the answer. This is a documentary short (45 minutes) so does it even belong in this list? Yes. I mean, it's here.

59. Brats

Watching this was the extent of my Brat Summer.

58. Road House

I think it did a good job of capturing the ridiculousness of the original. Conor McGregor was good, too bad he sucks. The line, "who taught you shapes?" made me laugh.

57. Frankie Freako

From the Psycho Goreman director, more bad on purpose wackiness. That's hard to do!

56. The People's Joker

Very ambitious for the budget. I probably missed a lot of comic book references. Lots of creative touches like bleeping someone's dead name until it's used as a weapon. 

55. The Bikeriders

My only problem with this movie is they say their Chicago-based Motorcycle club hung out with another club from Milwaukee on their way to Columbus. Was Columbus, Wisconsin a destination for any reason for a Motorcycle club? Did they mean Columbus, Ohio, which is the opposite direction from Milwaukee? I just needed some clarification. Thanks.