Three-Hundredth Movie Night

We're bringing out the big guns for Bad Movie Night this week since it's our 300th movie. I'd say movie zero was Troll 2, our 100th was The Room, the 200th movie was Showgirls because Birdemic wasn't available yet so that obviously leads us to the new The Room that was the new Troll 2, Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

But first we must make it through Desperation Rising. See that title card up there? The word Rising is rising! That's a good indication on how good this movie is. Another is a review from Bleeding Skull that says it would make a great double feature with Executioner Part II and it's "right up there with Samurai Cop. It's better than Kill Squad." All great movies.



Oh, Chris Mitchum. You deserve a box around your name. You've given so much joy to BMN. Hold on, an aside here. Am I just thinking of this? We should totally have BMN BMX night:



I read somewhere that Desperation Rising may have been a gang mediation exercise. That would account for it being confusing and crazy. But here's what I find weird: Nick Cassavetes is in it.



He's John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands son. He was in Face/Off. He directed The Notebook. Remember when The Hangover Part II was filming and there were rumors that Bill Clinton was going to cameo in it but then they said, "No, but Liam Neeson is in it" and then it turned out he wasn't going to be able to do it? Well, that role of "Tattoo Joe" went to Nick Cassavetes. But he's in Quiet Cool too so I don't know what to think:



Russians have a weird way of dubbing a movie. "Nooooooo!" "Nyet."

Speaking of people in weird things, Tippi Hedren of Hitchcock's The Birds is in Birdemic but only in "archive footage".



I'm guessing that's because Hedren was in another of Birdemic director James Nguyen's movies Julie and Jack, a movie I watched in those cold, lonely days when Birdemic wasn't available on DVD and I had to watch something by Nguyen. Anyway, Julie and Jack is about "Jack Livingston, a successful computer chip salesman who's looking for true love." The plot to James Nguyen's follow-up Replica starts "Suffering from kidney failure, Joe, a computer chip salesman goes through an organ transplant..." If a computer chip salesman doesn't get killed by a bird on Friday...

We have special guests at BMN this Friday, Marissa's parents. The last time they were here we watched Beaks: The Movie. They're going to think BMN stands for Bird Massacre Night. Amiright?

Marissa said no one liked Psychomania so here's why Psychomania is great and you're stupid from a BBC documentary series about B-movies. Man, America needs more public broadcasting if this is the kind of stuff they get in the UK:

Today's Movies

Motorcycle Movie Night

When veterans returned from World War II some took to the road on motorcycles to fill that Nazi-killing hole in their hearts. Soon the fifties saw an explosion of bikers, biker clubs and the movies about them. This Memorial Day weekend we honor these men by watching some motorcycle movies. In reality, I forgot it was Memorial Day but it's like you can bullshit anything!

I mentioned in the invite that Psychomania was always one of the motorcycle movies we were going to watch. I just needed to find its pair. Virgins From Hell was an early contender.



But they might be riding something closer to mopeds. I guess that counts. And now that I just watched a few clips on Youtube we should totally watch Virgins From Hell soon! The Australian biker movie Stone was pretty good. BMN legend James Bryan has a biker movie called Hell Riders. The best part is second :54 here where the camera isn't in place and everyone is standing still waiting for action:



Incidentally, Code Red is putting out James Bryan's remaining, currently unavailable movies in one pack:



I couldn't possibly be more excited. I don't think I've ever collected the entire oeuvre of a director before.

I used up Northville Cemetary Massacre for Massacre Night so that just leaves The Stabilizer.

Now, is The Stabilizer a motorcycle movie? Well, there's a motorcycle in it. What more do you want from me? If it's another Arizal movie you want, I have a second one that's also awesome!

You need no other reason to watch Psychomania than it being the subject of a Little Friends of Printmaking poster:



Yes, I own it! I didn't know they made a poster for the protests:



Here's what happened last week:

The Land of L an' D

Today's Movies

Arm wrestling, really? This pre-dates Over The Top by three years!

Tennessee Movie Night

While Tennessee doesn't have a The Pit caliber movie filmed within its borders it does have The Evil Dead, The Silence of the Lambs, The People vs. Larry Flynt, Starman and of course Nashville. Also, these two movies.

King Kong Lives is from the director of The Towering Inferno, Shaft in Africa and Sheena: Queen of the Jungle.



It would also be his last theatrical film. Don't worry, he's still alive but I hope this movie didn't ruin him. It's a Dino De Laurentiis film during the era of Dune and Maximum Overdrive so the director probably knew what he was getting into.

To rectify the problem that this is a sequel and we saw Kong die in the last one, maybe Lives is pronounced with a long I and he's just on his second life, like if he was George in Rampage.



It's not so weird that we're doing Rhinestone. Bob Clark, the director, already has a movie in BMN history, Black Christmas. Sylvester Stallone was in Death Race 2000:



In fact, how do we not have more Sly at BMN. Cobra! Over the Top! Um, The Party at Kitty and Stud's?

Sylvester Stallone turned down the leads in Romancing the Stone and Beverly Hills Cop to be in Rhinestone. Ouch. And for his troubles he won the Razzie for Worst Actor. The movie also won Worst "Original" Song for "Drinkenstein". Well that title is delightful, I don't see how



Oh.

Here's what happened last week:

Seinfeld Reference Sighting

On my way to work.

Today's Movies

Is that Dolly Parton in the lower left corner? Is that foreshadowing?


If The Day Time Ended is as enjoyably bad as its posters we're in for a treat:

End of the World Movie Night

Dedicated Christian scientists have painstakingly calculated when the world will end and that day is May 21st, 2011. Since the 21st is now in reach of the ten day forecast I can tell you the last day on earth will be rainy and mild.

IMDB tells me The Day Time Ended was Jim Davis' final feature film before he died and started writing Garfield comics. The last part of that sentence was author's embellishment.



The visual effects were done by Dave Allen, who worked on BMN movies Laserblast, Q: The Winged Serpent and The Stuff, attempted third movie Flesh Gordon and notable movies Equinox, Dolls, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and Robot Jox. A lot of those movies are in this compilation:



Donnie Darko did disappointing business at the box office but people later embraced its mysterious weirdness. Hey, that pretty much defines a Cult Movie, making it perfect for Bad Movie Night. Marissa and I went to see the director's cut re-release and when we left the theater all the lights in the lobby were turned off and no one was around. We were super creeped out so we just took all the Milk Duds and left. The second half of that anecdote was author's embellishment.

Here’s what happened last week:

Champions!

Today's Movies

Endangered Dinosaurs Movie Night

Sixty million years ago when the dinosaurs were raptured to heaven a few of the sinning ones were left behind. So don't feel bad when dinosaurs living in the present day are hunted down like the ones in these movies. They're the descendants of bad animals. Like Australians!

Friday's Bad Movie Night will be a night of duality. The Last Dinosaur is about a man in a rubber theropod suit. Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend is about a robotic sauropod. Unfortunately neither chose stop-motion animation. That will have to wait until next week.

It looks like I sat on The Last Dinosaur for too long. It was out-of-print when I obtained it but the WB just made it available through their Made To Order DVD service. They say it's a Rankin/Bass Production, the people that made all of your stop-motion animated holiday special favorites! Still, guy in a rubber suit. Let's watch some Harryhausen to make up for it:



Tito Puente!

The lead character in The Last Dinosaur is named Maston Thrust, which I though must be an anagram for something. Let's see:

Hamster Stunt

Stamen Thrust
Mattress Hunt
Ms. Nut Shatter
Must Rent Hats

The Man Struts


Maybe not.

I saw Baby: SotLL at a theater as a double feature with John "Zardoz" Boorman's The Emerald Forest. I guess that theater, and I'm going to assume it was the Oriental Theatre,



was going for a jungle theme. This might mark the first time we watch a movie I've seen in the theater. Except for recent movies like Slither and Piranha. The list is officially too long to look through as it approaches 300 movies.

Here's what happened last week:

Charm It!

I wasn't looking when it happened, and he hasn't done it before or since, but Levi took his pants off somehow.