Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Bad Movie Night




The most interesting thing about Bad Movie Night may be who the directors are. Alternately, there may be nothing interesting about Bad Movie Night.

The director of Day of the Animals, William Girdler, died in a helicopter accident at the age of 30 but still left behind two killer animal movies (this and Grizzly), the black exorcist movie Abby, mostly-known-for-its-title Three on a Meathook and the Native-American-growing-on-a-woman's-back-like-a-tumor-movie The Manitou. I'm 33 and I'm still working on my first movie, the emotional courtroom drama Booger, Booger & Fartybutt.

For a movie about animals I think it's appropriate that actors named Richard Jaeckel and Paul Mantee are in it. Also considered for this movie were Peter Coyote, Michael J Fox, Angela Bassett, Adam Ant, Robin Leach (he auditioned twice), Eddie Rabbit, Cat Stevens, Barbara Boxer, Larry Bird, Samantha Bee, Greg Bear, Tom Wolfe, Dick Wolf, Joey Lawrence, Cameron Crowe, Sheryl Crow, David Fincher, Dominique Swain, Kathy Griffin, Raven-Symoné, Walter Pidgeon and Seal.

Prophecy was directed by John Frankenheimer. The movie is kinda ridiculous being from the guy who previously directed Birdman of Alcatraz, The Manchurian Candidate and The Iceman Cometh but then again he had yet to direct The Island of Dr. Moreau. That could be a future Bad Movie Night movie:

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Bad Movie Night




Revenge is the theme this week. In Master of the Flying Guillotine the bad guy is the one seeking revenge for something that happened in the first movie, One Armed Boxer. But nobody watches that movie, it's like Troll that way.



There's a looooong tournament scene in this movie that obviously inspired a lot of fighting video games like Street Fighter and Mortal Combat.

A few weeks ago the trailer to Robogeisha was posted on Exclacomma to request it for Bad Movie Night. The Machine Girl is by the same people. It's not as crazy as that movie looks but it's definitely not boring.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

No Bad Movie Night



But you should watch Scarecrows(1988) on Hulu. It's getting these comments:

"Interseting yet made no sense! (2/5 Stars)"

"Really not a bad movie for being made in the 80's." (ed. note--What!?)

"I'd watch is again just to see Ted Vernon's hairy shoulders."

"I've seen worse(EXAMPLE: Will Ferrell's 'Semi-Pro')"

"The sound effects in the picture Scarecrows never ended, there forever were sound effects"

So if you like movies that are better than Semi-Pro with wall-to-wall sound effects watch this one. Wow, Hulu has Giant Spider Invasion too. "This can't be Wisconsin, there's no billboards for Tommy Bartlett's Water Show."

Friday, August 7, 2009

Translation Party



This site translates any phrase into Japanese, back into English and so on until you get the same result twice in a row, or "equilibrium"

I started with "one in the hand is worth two in the bush" and ended up with quite the true statement.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bad Movie Night




I remember Roger Ebert being especially excited about May when it came out in 2002. I looked it up on his site and he gave it four stars. This may (May?) be the first four star movie we ever watched. I can't find what he thought of The Deadly Spawn.

Ginger Snaps is a 2000 Canadian movie that came out in America in 2001. I think that's good enough to declare this the first Bad Movie Night of the 21st Century!

Marissa and I are going to a Bad Movie Night After Party at the Jade Monkey. Who's coming? Okay, it's actually a going away party for a Res Doll but that's no excuse not to join the meat market at the Monkey.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Don't Miss List

The library's Don't Miss List came out late this month because of the weekend. This is what caught my eye. Bold is what I'll be getting.


DVDs
Pokemon Elements Volume 1, Grass and Pokemon Elements Volume 2, Fire - I'm sure I'm revealing my Pokemon ignorance but... grass is an element? I'll give you fire, sure. In fact, in my day we had Battle Beasts:



The spider was one of my favorites. You'd rub that black square on their chest and it would reveal fire, wood or water. Of course fire burns wood, water puts out fire, wood floats on water. Hey!, that's a much better system than rock, paper, scissors. It avoids that dubious paper covers rock thing. Why aren't people playing fire/wood/water to settle disputes.

All The Days Before Tomorrow - Marissa likes to identify movies that sound like made up Seinfeld titles. This would be one of them, kinda like Cry, Cry Again where a character tries to buy a loaf of bread that represents his soul.

Parasite - Not the 1982 3-D, Demi Moore movie sadly.

Whacked! - Crap, I knew my rule about watching every movie with an exclamation point would backfire. Now I have to watch this 2002 Carmen Electra/Judge Reinhold movie. SLC Punk! was good though!

The Burrowers - Did you know all the best horror movies are being released direct to video now that studios are only releasing PG-13 remakes? I heard good things about this one.

Demon Seed - As far as I can tell from the trailer:



Julie Christie is impregnated by a computer. Computers in 1977 were much larger.

Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus - Also, direct-to-video horror movies are some of the worst movies out there:



Still, Debbie Gibson...

Cowards Bend The Knee - The brave walk like robots.

Drag Me To Hell - I can't believe this is listed already; the DVD doesn't come out until October. The best horror movies are released theatrically!

Monster Camp The Story of NERO Seattle - A documentary about adults playing heroes and creatures, LARP-style. I'm cringing already.

Mona Lisa, Criterion Collection - Yes, but when does Mona Lisa Smile get a Criterion release.

The Dana Carvey Show - A show written by Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, Louis C.K., Robert Smigel and Charlie Kaufman that people say failed after the first sketch featured Bill Clinton suckling puppies with his teats:



Phffft! - Shit, another one.

Operation Mad Ball - I loved Madballs as a kid:



They starred in the only comic book I ever read as a child which this guy says was the 5th worst toy tie-in comic ever. Still better than Koosh Kins though.

How I Met Your Mother, seasons one-three - The best laugh track sitcom on TV today. Did your favorite show have anything this awesome on it.

Get Rid of Mummy Tummy - Also, get rid of your dignity by buying something with this title.

Penn & Teller, Bullshit!, the complete fifth season - Solely for the breast episode.

Breast Hysteria: Penn & Teller look at women's breasts and society's response to them. In New York City, we meet a young mother who inadvertently tested corporate tolerance for breast-feeding in public. Further south, in Daytona Beach, Florida, we meet a woman who challenged the rights to flash her breasts in public. We also meet a breast cancer survivor who is not a supporter of those ubiquitous Pink Ribbons.



Music
Habeas corpus by Living Things - Which of these song titles doesn't belong:

Brass knuckles -- Mercedes Marxist -- Snake oil man -- Post millenium extinction blues -- Dirty bombs -- Shake your shimmy -- The kingdom will fall