Cannon Movie Night

I only found 3 Thanksgiving themed horror movies. There's ThanksKilling, a film one Amazon reviewer gives four stars to but it's "not quite as funny" as Poultrygeist:



There's Thanxgiving, which looks like this:



So that just leaves Home Sweet Home, a 1981 movie that's impossible to search for and not get Sweet Home Alabama with Reese Witherspoon, stars Jake "Body By" Steinfeld and the girl who's not Thora Birch in Hocus Pocus, Vinessa Shaw. Who, btw, is hot now. This is proven by the most high profile mention she's ever gotten.

Last time I was watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 I had a broken ankle and in the middle of it I started to fall while using my crutches and, so not to put any weight on my foot I fell to the floor instead. It hurt very, very much and I STILL enjoyed the movie. This is our last Cannon film (for now) and the second film by Tobe Hooper. The other Hooper film, Lifeforce, was the only other Cannon Film we had seen previous to this month.

The year after TCM2 came out Cannon Films had some high profile and expensive flops, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Masters of the Universe. These failures started an infighting between the two Cannon Cousins, Golan and Globus, and was enough to ultimately bankrupt the company. Golan and Globus would take their feud public by releasing two competing lambada movies on the same day. No, seriously. The verdict: Globus' Lambada: Set The Night On Fire grossed $2 million in 1,117 theaters and Golan's The Forbidden Dance made $720,000 in 637 theaters. But let's have our own showdown. Which trailer is better?:

Cannon(ball) Movie Night

From the guys who wrote the horror movies The Gate and The Faculty and starring David Naughton from American Werewolf in London comes a frighting tale of the "Game Master", whose twisted mind sends a group of innocent college students through a demented night of hell, forced to play a game of the Game Master's making. Just kidding, this is a Disney movie about a scavenger hunt. It's one of Disney's first PG rated movies though, so there is some graphic cleavage. Look for David Naughton drinking a Dr. Pepper in the movie:



When you think Cannon Films your mind might turn towards Cannonball Run. This would be incorrect, they have nothing to do with the film. But here it is during Cannon month anyway. Shut up. It's not to be confused with the Paul Bartel movie Cannonball! starring David Carradine and Mary Woronov about a cross country car race:



...which in turn shouldn't be confused with the Paul Bartel movie Death Race 2000 starring David Carradine and Mary Woronov about a cross country car race. Which in turn shouldn't be confused with the Paul Bartel movie Eating Raoul starring Ed Bagley Jr. and Mary Woronov about a cross country car race through the metaphor of a cannibal prostitute serial killer.

Cannon Movie Night

The worst musicals are science fiction musicals. Okay, there's only one other one, Toomorrow:



Remember in 1994 when everyone was dancing in the street, had late 70s model cars with fins taped on them and wore silver jumpsuits? That's because The Apple accurately predicted a year 14 years before it happened! One of the Cannon Cousins directed this one, Menahem Golan, with Yoram Globus producing. The movie, which updates the Old Testament story (a "new" testament if you will), was a flop everywhere in the universe. It wasn't until Golan/Globus started cranking out action movies half a decade later did the money start coming in.

The best musicals are horror musicals. Sweeney Todd, Little Shop of Horrors, Evil Dead: The Musical...



...um, that episode of Buffy. I've never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show but people seem to like it. Then there's Brian De Palma's Phantom of the Paradise starring Suspiria's Jessica Harper and that guy who was in muppet stuff:



He also did the music. More songs of his: (Just An) Old Fashioned Love Song, Rainbow Connection and We've Only Just Begun. So we're in for a treat. No, I'm serious!

Amazing Discovery

What I was trying to search for tonight that took me 2 seconds after I got home:



But Look Around You was fun too:

Bad Movie Night

Recognize this logo?:



Do you have the overwhelming feeling you're going to see something awesome? That's because Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus started filling America's eyeholes with greatness as soon as they bought Cannon for $500,000 in 1979. They would go on to make Enter the Ninja, Invaders From Mars, Cobra, The Last American Virgin and Alien from L.A. and those are the movies we're NOT going to watch.



Their biggest franchise was the American Ninja movies: American Ninja, American Ninja 2: The Confrontation, American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt, American Ninja 4: The Annihilation and American Ninja V: We Just Started Using Roman Numerals All of the Sudden for No Reason. Some, if not all (but really 3), of them are



as Joe Armstrong who's going to get Ninja-y and a little bit American-y but you should really look out for the ninja-y part all over your ass. With romantic interest Hilly from Weird Science.

Speaking of ninjas, Duel to the Death has them. At one point they combine to form a super ninja, ala Voltron. But I've said too much...

Don't Miss Lists

The library has gotten new stuff. They're going to give it to me. For Free!

DVDs

The stepfather - I was totally going to buy this. Terry O'Quinn and the girl from Popcorn and Cutting Class demonstrate that step parents are always evil.



Saturday morning cartoons, 1970s - Why not? There's Grape Ape, Banana Splits, New adventures of Gilligan, Sealab 202. All the shows I'm slightly too young to remember.



Runaway - I was totally going to buy this one too even though it came out a million years ago. Tom Selleck takes care of killer robots in the future. Not current killer robots!

Robot chicken. Star wars, episode 2 - I think I'll watch anything Star Wars that Lucas has nothing to do with.

The Last house on the left - The original Wes Craven movie.

The hurt locker - Poor locker, did someone pound on you because they didn't turn the lock clockwise a couple of turns first?

Flash of genius - Could be the best windshield wiper based movie ever.

Elvira, mistress of the dark - I was just reading this AV Club interview with her about how this movie has become quite the cult item. And now it's already in transit.

Anvil! the story of Anvil - Exclamation point. I have to watch it.

Drag me to Hell - This I put on hold a long time ago. I'm 16th for 16 copies. I'm next!

Inglourious Basterds - Tarantino hasn't disappointed me yet. Except for his last movie, that was a little disappointing.

Humpday - Based on a real porn competition run by Dan Savage.

District 9 - Based on this short film:



(500) days of Summer - Zooey Deschanel made a good movie!

The world according to Monsanto - That everything is fine as long as you throw away seeds you didn't buy?

Getting to know electricity - I really have fallen out with electricity lately.


Music

Jewish ballroom dance in Yiddish - Six copies and no holds.

Man on the moon the end of day by Kid Cudi

The boy who knew too much by Mika

I told you I was freaky by Flight of the Conchords - If only for Sugarlumps:



The Beatles by Beatles - I got my wish from last month that they get the remastered White Album.

Sainthood by Tegan and Sara - My favorite twin sister lesbian musical duo that I saw throw up once.

Piano music for babies