R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen

From Bad Movie Night movies Creepshow and Day of the Animals, where he wrestled a bear:

Killer Birds Movie Night

Until Eli Roth comes out with that Thanksgiving movie he keeps talking about based on his fake Grindhouse trailer, I've run out of Thanksgiving movies for Bad Movie Night. But I think birds eating people comes pretty close.

NSFW:


Joe Dante is the one who called the bird in The Giant Claw the all time dumbest 50's monster. He even made a movie about those kind of movies called Matinee, so he would know:



The Giant Claw came out one year before Plan 9 From Outer Space making it the oldest movie we've ever seen. Someday we'll watch Freaks from 1932. You know the Thanksgiving-y line "Gooble, gobble, we accept her, we accept her, one of us!". I like how the IMDB plot summary says the bird in The Giant Claw "has no regard for life or architecture". This is no architecture enthusiast man-eating giant bird.



Beaks has a place in Bad Movie Night pre-history. It was on TV late one Saturday night a few years ago after Marissa and I got back from a party. I realized what a great combination drinking and bad movies was. For some reason "Chicken As Live Animal" is a plot keyword. I don't know what that means.

Did you see the Entertainment Weekly poll about what the best worst movie is? Starship Troopers won but that movie is like that on purpose so people are stupid. From the others we've only not seen Xanadu and Grease 2. Any interest?

Here's what happened last week:

Today's Movies

Dino De Laurentiis Movie Night

Mario Bava. The man made Black Sabbath (yes, the band is named after the movie), Twitch of the Death Nerve (arguably the original slasher movie) and Kill, Baby, Kill (killer babies need the most attention). Then he made Danger: Diabolik. If you read anything from the fans of the movie you'll see they're outraged (OUTRAGED!) that this movie was an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. HOW DARE THEY! In realty the movie is ridiculous. Ridiculously cool but also the traditional ridiculous. Shockingly, the copy I saw didn't include the line, "Is that stud coming?" which I could only find at the end of this collection:



"You gonna be da worm face!" always makes me laugh. Dino De Laurentiis also produced Barbarella the same year as Danger: Diabolik. This guy pioneered camp! That's why I'm using all these exclamation points. It's fabulous! Diabolik is also one of my favorite things. Out-of-print!

De Laurentiis produced a lot of Stephen King movies: Dead Zone, Firestarter, Silver Bullet, Cat's Eye and Maximum Overdrive. MO is about machines coming to life and being really unhappy about it. Except the waffle iron. He's cool.

Here's what happened last week, reviewed by Siskel and Ebert:

Angry Police Chief Night

This could easily be Cop Night or LA Cop Night or 80's LA Cop Night or Endangered Child Helped by 80's LA Cop Night but I like the cliché of the angry police chief. Remember this in So I Married An Axe Murderer:

Tony Giardino: I'm having doubts about being a cop. You know, it's not like how it is on TV... And that's the other thing. You're too nice.
Police Chief: I'm too nice?
Tony Giardino: Yeah, you're too nice. Why can't you be like the Captain on "Starsky and Hutch"? You know, when you come in, and you haul me into your office, and you bawl me out because you're sick and tired of defending my screwball antics to the Commissioner? Why cant you do that?
Police Chief: Well, the truth of the matter is, I don't report to a Commissioner. I report to a committee. Some of whom are appointed, some elected, and the rest co-opted on a bi-annual basis. It's a quorum, so to speak.
Tony Giardino: A quorum?
Police Chief: Yeah.

That was funny. I wish it was on YouTube. But all they have is



Hollywood Cop director Amir Shervan is a mysterious figure. The most information I can find is in this brief blog post. It's worth a look if only for the first picture, which the guy bought off Ebay, and the intriguing comment by "Buck Striker".

Hollywood Cop is Cameron Mitchell movie number 8.



The last time we saw a Cameron Mitchell movie, Kill Squad, it was during Vigilante Night when we watched another Charles Bronson Movie, Death Wish 3. Cameron Mitchell movies go with Charles Bronson movies like chateaubriand and, say, Cabernet Sauvignon.

Bronson's Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects is directed by the guy who made Happy Birthday to Me, The Guns of Naverone and Cape Fear. It's a pretty sleazy film with plot key words like Frotteurism and Ephebophilia that you don't want in your search history.

Here's what happened two weeks ago:

Sunday in the Park

I think it was the 7th of November. Levi saw Chicago for the first time this weekend during the 2010 National Roller Derby Championships. The Dairyland Dolls lost in the first round to eventual forth place winners the Philly Roller Girls. But Levi doesn't understand cause and effect, much less the complicated rules of roller derby so he didn't care.

No Bad Movie Night

Booooooooooooo. No Bad Movie Night. But what should we watch (that I'm excited about) next? I just watched Faceless for a second time and it was great:



It stars Christopher Mitchum (seen in The Executioner, Part II), Robert Mitchum's less bad ass son:



He also stars in Ricco The Mean Machine where the best scene is a guy's penis being cut off and stuffed in his mouth. Skip to 3:10 for that but really skip to 3:50 to listen to this guy talk:



How about Sole Survivor, which is Final Destination but more measured and seventies-y:



The retribution of tormented souls is about to be unleashed!

Maybe we should do animation night. Possibly with Fantastic Planet:



How about the Exorcist rip-off, Beyond the Door?:



The Devil's Sword, Virgins from Hell or Mahakaal, a Bollywood Nightmare on Elm Street:



Five Element Ninjas, Ninja Champion, Dragon Lives Again, which I think was the inspiration for the Around the World Daft Punk video,



The Prowler, Kung Fu Zombie, Cobra, Phase IV, White Fire:



Mafia vs Ninja, Maximum Overdrive, Ong Bak... Those are just the movies I've been sitting on for more than a year that I could think of.

This could go on forever.