Bad Movie Night

These movies star a man named Danton/Dalton who's a marine/bouncer outnumbered by militia men/goons with only their survival training/bouncer school knowledge(?) to stay alive/make people leave an area, respectively.

Deadly Prey stars the meaty guy from Killer Workout. The blond one. Who ended up being a cop or something. Well, his brother wrote and directed both.

Marissa was horrified that I was waiting for Patrick Swayze to die before watching Road House but it's not like I'm HOPING for it. So Sunday will be a celebration of the continuing life of Patrick Swayze. Maybe we'll watch Red Dawn when he dies.

Road House inspired Michael Nelson to write Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas:



Speaking of Swayze, Marissa and I just saw this episode of How I Met Your Mother. That's a really good special effect.

Firm Ally

Vacation Day

I'm on vacation today so I was thinking of going into work:

Bonus Bad Taxidermy

There's more over there.

Sweet Rack

We haven't heard from Marissa lately. It's half her blog and she even has top billing. For some reason. I'm sure she's the reason you come here. So this is what's happening:

She loves this dog and would name it Latka, not to be confused with the first dog in space Laika.

She got a bike rack for her birthday from me. Yeah, it's pretty sweet:



Her car just got a new serpintine belt, clean brakes, new spark plugs and fuel filter, a coolant flush, new brake bulbs and casing. In the process of going to the repair place we discovered a Wonder Bread/Hostess Outlet store near us. I now have more Zingers than I know what to do with.

She has a derby bout coming up on Saturday and here's a sneak peek at everyone's trading cards. Ask a police officer for one today. And he'll look at you confused.

He may tase you.

Bad Movie Night

On Sunday we are going to continue with movies about aliens visiting Earth. Did I mention it's the perfect Earth Day theme? No? Well, that's because I didn't think of it until after the fact.

Nightbeast is directed by Baltimore, Maryland's finest director Don Dohler. Barry Levinson? Did you see Sphere? John Waters? Did you see... everything? There's a documentary just out about Dohler called Blood, Boobs & Beast. Here's the NSFW trailer:



Yes, nightbeast is a distant relative to the winterbeast but nocturnal with more of a brown coloring for camouflage

We're also watching the exciting conclusion to V: The Original Series. Are the scientists of the world going to make it? Are the Visitors rounding up phrenologists, astrologists and chiropractors? Will Robin do it with that one alien. Is that possible? Will kids learn how to make a proper graffito? I can't wait to find out.

Bonus LJ Post

To get you to go to Exclacomma.

Deadly Spoilers - I <3 Jean Tafler

Last night we watched The Deadly Spawn, a movie I like a lot not least of all because of Jean Tafler. Her character Ellen is smart (when she finds a dead animal she's not familar with she naturally want to dissect it) and beautiful:



and open-minded enough to maybe date a guy who wears overalls and thinks house flies originated on Jupiter.

And that's why it's pretty shocking when her head gets bitten off and some other chick who, like, JUST SHOWED UP gets to live. She even gets to be on the cover of some copies of the movie despite being unattractiver:



So it's nice to see, despite what IMDB suggests, that Tafler did go on to do other things besides The Deadly Spawn. She's doing off Broadway plays and commercials and still making that face:



So consider this my late entry into "The one you might have saved" (NSFW link) meme.

Warren G. Harding Is Your New Bicycle

I'm very entertained by Google's predictive results. Maybe I'm the only one. Today I was googling Obama's dog (shut up) and decided to see what Google thinks about our presidents:


Obama is not doing so well right now. But maybe they're all like that.

A lot of positive results here. Obama's non-negative results are pretty neutral. Let's look further back.

We don't see it in any more of these but most presidents I tried had a "was jewish" result.

Ouch, regarded as one of the best presidents in history but the Internet feels otherwise. How about one of the worst.

Seems the only question is if Nixon was a good or great president.

Bad Movie Night

I've declared 1983 the Year of Alien Visitation Movies!

The Deadly Spawn has the best alien drool you've ever seen committed to film. No one on the internet seems to have an opinion on alien drool. All the results I get is this candy:



Compare Deadly Spawn star Charles George Hildebrandt (son of the designer of the first Star Wars poster!) with The Pit's Sammy Snyders (pictured as Tom Sawyer):


Speaking of Sammy Snyders, did you know he's now a dance instructor with his own website? This is what he looks like now.

Then we're watching the first half of V the TV mini-series. It stars Freddy Krueger,

the Beastmaster,

Mr. Wilhelm from Seinfeld

and Scary German Guy from Monster Squad.

When Turtle Met Sadie

Here's Turtle the other day saying hi(ss) to the next door neighbor's dog Sadie. This is how she is with Colbert too. Threatening curiosity is a weird combination of feelings.

If You Enjoyed...

...the old commercials from our successful birthday party you might like YouTube user Milwaukee TV Madman. He's posting old commercials from the late 70s to early 90s. Best part is they all aired in Milwaukee, where you grew up. No wait, that was me. I've watched all the these and they really remind me of my childhood. And you wasted that same time period playing outside. There's very little footage of that suckers!

¡Felices Pascuas!

Two years ago I had a Cuban sandwich on Easter, a sandwich I read about but never had. Turns out it's best sandwich ever and illegal in the US, just like their cigars. Today was the third year for this tradition. Normally it's ham, salami, roasted pork marinated in mojo, Swiss cheese, pickles, and mustard on Cuban bread. My version had evolved into ham, salami, bacon, mozzarella, pickles on French bread:



Then you mash it in your Griddler or similar inferior device:



Almost finished product:



This is when I add the mojo, a sauce with olive oil, garlic and lime. The only place I've found this is with Lawry's Havana Garlic with Lime marinade. I guess I could make it myself but, you know, it's hard. In fact, making this was exhausting. I really don't know how you people cook everyday. It's a pain in the ass. Happy Easter!

Birthday party a success!

our birthday party was last night, and it was pretty fun. it was a very low-key event, but that was great for me, since i am actually sick (yuck!). We got some awesome gifts, including lots of ice cream treats and new head-phone ear pads for michael, both from ed and kate, a home-made screen printed t-shirt from stank girl that says, "#1 Tooter", some fancy hand soap from Betty, and "Shower Sutra" game from Charlie Hustle. thanks everyone for your thoughtful gifts!

Now that Birtholiday season is almost over, what will we do next? I'm looking forward to camping and rock climbing this summer, and also having some free time to work on some house stuff (painting, molding-hanging). Lastly, i'm lobbying for a new addition to our family in the form of a puppy!

Birtholiday Season

Marissa and I are in the midst of the birtholiday season of the Ariesolitice. A large amount of people we know were born during this time. Sources tell me most people are born between July through September, which makes more sense. Ewes people that were born in the April time were conceived in Julyish. Who has conceptional relations when it's unbearably hot? Let's just be happy that our progenitors enjoyed suitable air conditioning.

On a thankfully unrelated note, fans of Freaks and Geeks will enjoy this video made for Beanie Babies collectors. You'll see why soon enough:

Raw Deal

All the buzz seems to be about Horror of the Humongous Hungry Hungan but that's because no one has seen the VHS case for Raw Force:



I'm sold!

Compare to Gymkata.

Bad Movie Night

After eating delicious Cuban sandwiches (as is tradition) Easter will continue with two bad movies. We could watch Critters 2: The Main Course, it actually takes place on Easter. Here's the director, Mick Garris, talking about a Larry Cohen (The Stuff) movie I have yet to see called God Told Me To:



We could also watch Night of the Lepus because it has giant mutant rabbits. I assume that's what happened to the Easter Bunny. Beyond that there's just some movie called Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! which actually has some positive reviews. But no, we're watching Raw Force and Horror of the Humongous Hungry Hungan.

Raw Force has something to do with a female slavery operation and martial arts and some zombies. So it at least sounds incredible. Information is scarce but IMDB says the director has had at least 12 different roles on Law and Order including "CSU Tech Wheeler", "CSU Tech Murphy" and "CSU Tech Bailey". Why didn't they just make him the same CSU Tech each time?

Sources say Horror of the Humongous Hungry Hungan "is the epic of Weird Movies". It also has zombies in a vague way, just like Jesus became a zombie on Easter. In a vague way. So even though it's a coincidence, there's your Easter theme.

M4K a Success

Our first M4K meeting of 2009 was last night, and i think it was a huge success! we had about 27 growers sign up, and they seem like a great bunch. our next meeting is at the Kollege Klub, which should be...interesting....

trying to keep up with everything- 3 jobs, M4K and roller derby is proving to be quite challenging. i am barely keeping my head afloat. but i am.

last wfriday, michael and i tried to go to red lobster for my birthday dinner, but we couldn't do it, becasue there was a 40 minute wait and we were having bad movie night in 1 hour at our house. so we're going to try and go this friday instead. i hope it works out!

Television Show Art

A lot of these are still available but my favorite is sold:



There's another Freaks and Geeks one for $1800 (with a farting reference perfect for Marissa and I) but I'm going to wait and see if this one was bought by someone who's giving it to me for my birthday. It's weird that Small Wonder makes two appearances.

Best Political Cartoon That's Also A Reference To Evil Dead 2

I've gone as Ash for Halloween, this year I'm going as Obama as Ash.

what a week

i can't believe i've been so busy that i didn't notice michael's been posting here. he said its my one and only birthday present. yay! tomorrow's my birthday (it starts in 1 hr).

one reason this week has been so busy for me is that i am working with some friends to organize Mustaches For Kids, our annual charity event for Make-A-Wish foundation of Wisconsin. its going to be awesome this year!

i decided that michael shoudl take me to Red Lobster for my birthday tonight, since we're really busy this weekend due to a roller derby bout. but we got there tonight and there was a 40 min. wait. needless to say, we didn't stay. but i still want my cheese biscuts! i hope we can go again soon!

Like a Good Neighbor

One thing I like about Blogspot is the Next Blog button. It makes me feel like we're neighbors with other blogs. Like, look at the next blog, it's right over there->. Of course it's always a different blog. I wish the blogs were all lined up in order so you were always next to that weird lady trying to sell her decorative tissue box covers or the teenage girl writing bad poetry. I'm going to push that button right now and tell you what I get.

Awesome! On the first try I got a guy with a lot of sweet downloads, including Mott the Hoople:

http://rollin-and-tumblin.blogspot.com/

This guy looks like he has some pretty nice looking blogger layouts:

http://template.orjinaldelikanli.com/

I don't know what language this is but this guy has a pretty fun night planned:

http://lyselan.blogspot.com/2009/04/goe-tilbud-denne-uka.html

Now you try!

As an aside, when I search for "neighbor" on Google Image Search this happened:

Board Game Night

Marissa informs me that board games just may come out tonight. That would be something as Marissa, you might know, hates board games. Once she said, "more like BORED games" and we laughed and laughed. Also, that never happened. She doesn't even know where we keep the board games even though they're in a giant box TWICE THE SIZE OF A LARGE BOX. She may not even know I'm the Balderdash Champion of the World. No I'm not. But see how good I am at it? I've never been defeated.

And this isn't your grandmother's Balderdash game. God I hate your grandmother. Nowadays, in addition to making up definitions to words you've never heard of (although once I got the word didgeridoo [who doesn't know what a didgeridoo is? {getting the definition right means extra points in BD}]), you make up movie plots and biographies and, um, diseases I think. Binswanger's disease? Could it be dementia caused by demyelination of the cortical white matter of the brain? No, it's dementia caused by demyelination of the SUBCORTICAL white matter of the brain. Moron. So challenge me to a game sometime if you don't have scoptophobia, which is the fear of losing. No it's not. Or is it?

UPDATE: Well, we didn't play Balderdash but I did win at Yahtzee. And I didn't even get Yahtzee. We agreed we weren't playing against each other but against the people who had previously used our scoresheets. I squeaked out a win over "Matt" who I'm guessing is Matt Allen. And Betty kicked "Kate O" in the rear. Marissa put up a valiant fight against an unattributed scorecard that we guessed was me. HINT: The key to winning is getting bonus points in the upper section. This doubles as good advice for life in general.

Marissa and I lost at Scruples but we all got to learn what terrible, terrible people we are. Me, I wouldn't help a homeless person who was outside in freezing weather and I'm pretty sure Marissa admitted to shooting a man just for snoring too loud.

Don't Miss Lists

It's the first of the month. That means we take another look at what's new at the library. As always, bold means I put it on hold. Yes, I'm pretending this feature always existed:

DVDs
Dog Soldiers - A werewolf movie a lot of people like. I already got this from the library on VHS and wasn't thrilled with it but I was only half watching. I'll give it another go.
Dead Alive - I already own this but I'm excited the poor and cheap will be able to watch an ultra-violent zombie movie.
Howard the Duck - Already has 8 holds. Act fast!
Starship Troopers 3 - This is one of the few I'm really excited about getting. Casper Van Dien is back!
Everybody Wants to be Italian - "Jake, a handsome lovelorn fishmonger gets involved in a romantic case of mistaken ethnicity. " That sounds like gold.
Your Child 6 to 12: Your Last Great Chance - AKA How to Fix All Your Previous Fuckups
Pedalphiles - "This 35-minute documentary follows the adventures of S.C.A.B. (Skids Creating Apocalyptic Bicycles), a roving gang of bicycle-artist-philosophers hell-bent on ridding the world of automobiles." That's fine but is it appropriate to pun child molesting? It's like when the Mad Rollin' Dolls were talking about having a roller derby club for young girls and I suggested the name Pedofliers. It was in bad taste then, it's in bad taste now.
Strong Knees - For Marissa
Generation Kill - The guys who made The Wire!
First Rate Sweatshirts - "Nancy and Mary demonstrate more than 12 ways to modify and enhance a basic sweatshirt to add style and interest. "
Consuming Kids - Gross. Wait. The subtitle is "the commercialization of childhood"

Music
Snakes on a Plane the Album.
My Life in the Bush of Ghosts by Eno, Brian, Nonesuch, 2006.
Sondre Lerche, Astralwerks, 2007.
Necroticism Descanting the Insalubrious by Carcass - with songs like Corporal Jigsore Quandray, Lavaging Expectorate of Lysergide Composition, Hepatic Tissue Fermentation II and Pedigree Butchery
Jingle All The Way by Fleck, Bela - I just looked it up, he's a banjo virtuoso!

Best April Fool's Day Prank Ever

A co-worker pointed out that we are in the midst of the 5 year anniversary of the Audrey Seiler adduction. I guess adduction would be more like a kid locking himself in a stranger's basement. I kept the e-mail that went around:


ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS:

We are enlisting your help as a member of the UW-Madison community in
locating Audrey Ruth Seiler, a 20-year-old university student who
disappeared over the weekend.

Audrey was last seen on Saturday at about 2:30 a.m. at the Regent Apartments, 1402 Regent St., where she lives. Audrey is 5-feet, 8-inches tall and weighs about 120 pounds. She has long brown hair and blue eyes.

When she was last seen, Audrey was wearing a navy blue pair of sweatpants, and an oversized burgundy Abercrombie & Fitch hooded sweatshirt with large white numbers on the front. She was also wearing either white flip-flops or tennis shoes.

If you have seen Audrey, or know where she is, Madison police are asking that you contact Madison Area Crime Stoppers at 266-6014 or City of Madison Police Department at 266-4275. Audrey's family and friends are offering a reward for any information leading to her location.


Lori M. Berquam
Associate Dean of Students
75 Bascom Hall
(608) 263-5702
FAX: (608) 265-5646

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