Bad Movie Night

Just north of the Land of Weird Remake/Ripoffs, Indonesia (think Lady Terminator), lies the Philippines. They like Bond movies, apparently, are filthy with little people and their professional basketball league teams have names like the Burger King Whoppers, the Talk 'N Text Tropang Texters and the Coca-Cola Tigers. That last fact doesn't figure into any of the movies but I found it interesting.



Shô Kosugi is not only the best ninja that has ever appeared in movies but he taught me everything I know about the art:



In 9 Deaths of the Ninja Kosugi plays a guy named Shinobi, borrowing the name of Sega's former ninja mascot. Revenge of Shinobi is still my favorite video game ever. At one point in the game you're fighting Spiderman (!) who then turns into Batman (!!):



It's weird. The final boss is just a guy that whips his hair around. Godzilla is in it. If you stab a guy with a shuriken he explodes. But enough about Revenge of Shinobi, this is supposed to be about 9DotN. Um, I've only watched half. There might not be a lot of ninjas in this, actually. The people that come early (i.e. on time) will see a delightful opening credits sequence.



I don't know why For Y'ur Height Only is spelled like that. I guess if you're extra short your personal pronoun is short too. That's why from now on Ii'll be known by mee or yoou. Yes, FYHO stars a primordial dwarf named Weng Weng. I guess Weng became somewhat of an Internet meme after the appearance this video (with spoilers) by The Chuds (!!!):

ABCs of The Room

Now Charlie Gibson is talking about The Room. Thankfully, Alec Baldwin shows up to add some legitimacy to people laughing at a bad movie. Otherwise they come off like douchebags!

Michael is a Warrior!

This Saturday, Michael ran in the Warrior Dash in Joliet, IL. We went with a bunch of Reservoir dolls, and it was a lot of fun. the race is a 6K, but with obstacles. He had to jump over fire, barrels, a wall, and cars, run over hills and climb through tunnels and mud. here are some awesome pictures:
Here's Michael before the run, with our friends Doug and Amber (a lot of people get dressed up in costumes for the race. Doug was the Green Giant)


Here he is running:


Here he is right after jumping over fire (you can see it in the background):


Here he is crawling through the mud w. amazing disgrace:


and finally, after crossing the finish line:


my hero!

Raimi is getting the big snip today, so wish him good luck! i am not supposed to allow him to run or jump for 10-14 days- no idea how i'm going to accomplish that!

Bad Movie Night

Nightmare Weekend stars the dad from Pet Sematary. Gage!



It is a crazy movie.

We're not watching Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. We have already seen it. Kate accused me of showing the movie just for this NSFW line. That may be true. That and the worst company logo ever:



And look how much competition there is.

And this:

Bad Movie Night

Joe Piscopo left Saturday Night Live in 1984, a move that paid off in spades 4 years later with Dead Heat. The movie set box office records for movies called Dead Heat, destroying the previous 1926 record holder and since deflecting a 2002 Kiefer Sutherland movie that forgot to come out in theaters. It also outgrossed his friend Eddie Murphy's Beverly Hills Cop II from the previous year by negative 150 million dollars.



Roger Ebert said of The Hidden, "The movie was directed by Jack Sholder, whose last film was "A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2." I don't know what I was expecting, but certainly not this original and efficient thriller."

Turns out it's an actually good movie from the guy who made the worst Elm Street movie, a movie we watched on Inadvertently Gay Bad Movie Night.

The weirdest thing about The Hidden is that Kyle MacLachlan plays an FBI agent with supernatural leanings pretty much making this the prequel to Twin Peaks. It also has Bill Haverchuck's mom, Claudia Christian, as a stripper. A job she alluded to having on Freaks and Geeks. Therefore proving my long held belief that Freaks and Geeks and Peaks inhabit the same universe and that the Giant is Bill's absent father:


It is happening again, buttpatter.

Raimi's first camping trip

we took Raimi on his first camping trip last weekend, and it went really well! Raimi really likes hiking at devil's lake!

Bad Movie Night

I wish my Wikipedia entry read like this:

Jon Mikl Thor is a Canadian bodybuilder and heavy metal musician. As a bodybuilder, he was the first Canadian to win both the Mr. Canada and Mr. USA titles. As a musician, he is the front man for the heavy metal band Thor, billing himself as "The Legendary Rock Warrior". He has also made a few forays into acting, appearing in such films as Zombie Nightmare and Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (the former was featured on Mystery Science Theatre 3000). His concerts are known for his displays of strength, such as blowing up hot water bottles until they burst, bending steel bars with his teeth, and breaking bricks on his bare chest. His most recent album, Devastation of Musculation, was released in March, 2006.

And I wish people were saying things like this about my movie:

An absolute pile of stinky garbage that must be seen at all costs. Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare is one of the most entertaining and hysterical train wrecks ever conceived, and exists without peers. -- bleedingskull.com

Don’t think it’s all bad because ROCK N’ ROLL NIGHTMARE has one major factor in its favor, IT IS THE GREATEST FILM EVER MADE. Every minute that passes offers more reason to give up but for some reason you just can’t stop watching. --Fangoria

...all the monsters look like they were left over from other projects. --AV Club

No one ever says that about my movie.

There's no theme on Saturday, except maybe puppets. The monsters in RnRN definitely look like puppets. The characters in Meet The Feebles are all puppets.

Between past Bad Movie Night movies Bad Taste (1987) and Dead Alive (1992) lies Meet The Feebles (1989), a Peter Jackson movie he mentioned in his best picture acceptance speech as "wisely overlooked by the Academy."

All this movie greatness is because Emily from Precious Moments, the blog over there on the right, will be in town. Movies are subject to change if she's seen either of them.

Don't Miss Lists

What's new at the library? Well, I'll tell you...
Key:
Hold

DVDs
Horror express - Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, who are in every British Horror movie from the 70s, star in this 70s horror movie from Britian.

S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale - The DTV (that's direct to video) sequel to Donnie Darko stars the ORA, the LS.

SLC Punk! - Two reasons: I see every movie with an exclamation point in the title and I want to see a young Jason Segel play a punk.

Phase IV - I'm really excited about this one. Famous title designer Saul Bass:



directs a movie about ants or something. This was one of the first movies to be used on Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Local Years

Nightmare Worlds 50 Movie Pack - Oh boy, there are 12 discs to this thing. I'm just after Terror At The Red Wolf Inn, Death Warmed Up, Warriors of the Wasteland (more MST3K episodes!), Idaho Transfer, Werewolf Woman and Evil Brain From Outer Space (Is there any other kind?).

Adventureland - I hear good things.

I Love You, Man - More Jason Segel.

Messenger of Death - This is another Charles Bronson movie and I still haven't gotten my CB movie from last month yet. I don't know if he's worth it.

House - Not the great William Katt movie or even a remake of it but "Two couples at a ramshackle B & B are terrorized by a household of ghoulish servants and a masked lunatic, known as 'The Tin Man'" so I'll take it.

Sandwiches That You Will Like - I doubt it!

Breastfeeding: What's A Dad Supposed To Do? - We're supposed to do something? You get to create a life and have this special bond with them and we're supposed to getting you a soda?

Jake and the Fatman, Season One - The show that almost killed Seinfeld.

Winter Steam Spectacular - Video of people breathing out.

The N Word and The N word: Divided We Stand - Two N word videos? I though it was weird too but turns out one of them is about the necronomicon.

Orgasmic Birth - And you get to have orgasms during birth! But here, let me get you some more ice chips.


Music

Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle by Bill Callahan - Like, everybody? Or the United States? If countries were their national symbols I'm pretty sure Bhutan would be that dragon that's on their flag and Sri Lanka would be a tiger with a fucking sword. Then we'd be screwed.




Saul Bass parody:

Bad Movie Night

This Friday Marissa and I are going to Devil's Lake for some camping. So I got to thinking. Camping? Devil? Going? This is the perfect time for some camping horror movies at Bad Movie Night.

Both these movies have people telling stories while camping. That makes this the second Bad Movie Night of anthologies. I don't think anything could top the sandwich story from Tales of the Quadead Zone, but they can try.

The Willies is directed by the guy who played Scuz in Return of the Living Dead. He was the guy killed by the zombie they strap to the table. One of the stories in Campfire Tales is set during Christmas, my second favorite horror subgenre!