Best of 2011

I have a baby now. You have no excuse for not living in the world

Movies

1. Super 8

It doesn't take much more than knowing Spielberg is involved and an alien breaks out of a train car (which is about all anybody knows) to get me interested.


2. The Cabin In The Woods
Joss Whedon produced return to horror, much delayed, Evil Deadesque.

3. Looper
The Second Annual listing of Looper!

4. The Thing
Your stupider people will complain about The Thing being remade; ignoring 1, this is a prequel and 2, John Carpenter's The Thing is already a remake but still one of the best horror movies ever made.

5. Ripley's Believe It or Not!
I don't think this will happen but should make for a fascinating movie. Although Howard Hughes is fascinating too and The Aviator was only okay.

6. Cowboys & Aliens
The trailer got me. But can't Harrison Ford play anybody who's ever happy?

7. Rise of the Apes
Imdb says "An origin story set in present day San Francisco, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy."
You had me at An origin story set in present day San Francisco, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy.

8. Contagion
Eech, this sounds like Outbreak. Wait Steven Soderbergh directs and Kate Winslet is in it. This sound great!

9. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Alright, I said I had no interest in this, I already saw the Swedish version only a few months ago and that was merely okay, but it's David Fincher.

10. The Muppets
I live in a world that lets Jason Segel write a Muppet movie. Zach Galifianakis presumably plays Dr. Teeth. Hey, why wasn't Rowlf in The Electric Mayhem? I think he was too cool. Rowlf is my favorite.

11. The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn
I guess 2011 is the year of directors I love doing movies I have no interest in (bleed over from the Coen Brothers doing True Grit). Still, Spielberg.

12. Paul
The trailer leads me to believe this is terrible. Has there ever been a bad trailer to a good movie?



13. Scream 4
BMN has made me realize how many good Wes Craven movies there are. So, yeah, I'll watch your Scream 4.

14. Fright Night
I'm fascinated that the remake of Fright Night has an A-list cast and is directed by the guy who did Lars and the Real Girl.

15. Moneyball
There hasn't ever been a great baseball movie. For the same reason there has never been a great arm wrestling movie (sorry Over The Top and P.K. and the Kid). The sport is terrible. But Eight Men Out was decent so maybe this true story will be too.

16. Zombieland 2

17. Battle: Los Angeles

18. Your Highness
This looks like Year One. That's a bad thing. But Zooey is in it and you've seen the paparazzi photos of Portman in a thong. So...

19. I Am Legend 2

20. Red Dawn

21. The Beaver

22. Green Hornet
Stars Ryan Renyolds but it might as well been Chris Evans, Dane Cook, Chris Pine or Brandon Routh. I don't know the difference. Blake Lively is pretty though and she's related to the second Rusty and Teen Witch.

23. The Rum Diary
I just realized that Johnny Depp sucks. I bought into the whole "one of our generation's best actors" and how great it is he gets to alternate between blockbusters and indie movies. But then I realized he alternates between terrible pirate movies and mediocre Tim Burton movies.

547. Born To Be A Star
Adam Sandler wrote it. The guy who did all of Rob Schneider's movies directed it. Pauly Shore is in it and it's not Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge. This couldn't be worse if Katherine Heigl and Kate Hudson were fighting over the same wedding dress or some crap.



Music


1. The Go! Team - Rolling Blackouts
This is exactly what 2011 needs.

2. Generationals - Actor-Caster
Still waiting for something as good as Eames Era but I'm hoping they'll follow post-Pixies Frank Black where his first solo album was okay and the second was The Best Album Ever Made.


3. The Avalanches – TBA
This is getting ridiculous.

4. Beastie Boys – Hot Sauce Committee, Vol. 2

5. Asobi Seksu – Fluoresence

6. Islands – TBA
I haven't even listened to their last album because I was underwhelmed by mp3s the blogs posted. But this one might be great because I am delusional.

7. Tahiti 80 - The Past, The Present & The Possible
Their album Puzzle that I bought for 3 bucks because I liked the label Minty Fresh is my best buy behind Bettie Serveert's Dust Bunnies for two bucks.

8. Danielson – Best Of Gloucester County

9. The Streets - Computers and Blues and Cyberspace and Reds
I hope he says "Oy" a lot.

10. Hercules & Love Affair - Blue Songs
That one song was good, maybe they can write two.


11. Santigold - TBA

12. OutKast
Just write another Hey Ya or B.O.B., Okay?


13. Fiona Apple – TBA
Hey why not? I liked When The Pawn Dot Dot Dot.

14. Cake - Showroom Of Compassion
This comes out 1-11-11. Is everybody going to release everything on 1-11-11, 11-1-11 or 11-11-11?

011010010010000001101000011011110111000001100101001000000110111001101111011101000000110100001010

349. The Shins – TBA



Televison

1. Bob's Burgers

This seems a little like Sit Down Shut Up but with more talent involved so I'm hopeful that there can be another great cartoon someday.

2. Shameless
Because I like William H. Macy.

3. Falling Skies
Because Noah Wiley deserves a hit show, right?

4. Portlandia
Because Sleater-Kinney guitarist Carrie Brownstein is in it and that's weird.

That's the new stuff but...

5. Parks and Recreation
...is back. NBC's perfect sitcom night was ruined by taking Parks and Recreation away.

6. Breaking Bad
Who can't wait for the repercussions of that one guy killing that other guy? (Spoiler Free)

7. Louis

8. Community
In Evander Holyfield's Real Deal Boxing on the Sega Genesis it was relatively easy to beat Holyfield but near impossible to stay on top.

The Best of the Previous Six Years

Since my Best of the Year lists are moving from Exclacomma to here I thought I'd transfer all the Best Of lists here for posterity. Future generations will want to know. Each year had a best of list and a predictive best of list for the following year.

With new commentary in italics!

Best of 2010

Movies
1. Black Dynamite
Had the hardest job of any movie on this list, next to making Facebook interesting. How do you take movies that are already funny, like Disco Godfather:



and parody them:



Well, whatever Black Dynamite did, that's how.

2. Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever
Even people who like these kind of movies hated this one. It's the kind of situation that makes you think, "Am I the crazy one, or is it everybody else?" You know the answer. At least I think you know the answer. It's that everyone else is crazy wise guy.
3. The Social Network
Alright David Fincher, all is forgiven. I have almost no interest in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo though.
4. Bad Biology
Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case, Brain Damage, Frankenhooker) makes his first movie in 16 years and it's about a woman with seven clitorises and man with a sentient, drug-addicted penis? Hooray!
5. Piranha
How many horrible, bloody ways can people die by piranha? Turns out a lot! Best remake since Dawn of the Dead.


Television
Best year of television ever. I mean, 30 Rock isn't on this list and it started being good again this year. Good for you television.
1. Community
You know how Seinfeld has a handful of iconic episodes? The Chinese Restaurant, The Contest, The Soup Nazi. Well, Community, in two seasons, is already approaching the same amount. Modern Warfare, Cooperative Calligraphy, Contemporary American Poultry, Epidemiology. Community is the best show since Arrested Development.
2. Breaking Bad
3. Louis
4. Curb Your Enthusiasm
5. Cougar Town
I feel this is the most unsung of all the shows on the list. I confessed to a friend that I liked Cougar Town and they said, "I don't really like reality shows". For the record this is a great sitcom starring Courteney Cox.

Albums
1. All Day - Girl Talk
2. Forgiveness Rock Record - Broken Social Scene
3. Eyelid Movies - Phantogram
4. Cul-de-sac - Childish Gambino
This is Donald Glover from Community. Yes, my Community fandom extends to albums the cast has made. If Alison Brie cuts an album I'll be there.



5. One Life Stand - Hot Chip

Songs
1. "Bed Intruder Song" - Antoine Dodson and The Gregory Brothers
I feel the need to defend this. I listened to it more than an other song. I know the words more than any song. And it resulted in this:



2. "Steady Shock" - Girl Talk
For the mash-up of Supergrass and Bone Thugs-n-Harmony.
3. "Mouthful of Diamonds" - Phantogram
4. "Fuck You!" - Cee Lo Green
5. "Texico Bitches" - Broken Social Scene

Books
I don't think I finished a book this year that came out this year that wasn't a graphic novel. But here are the best books that I'm in the process of reading or gave up reading because they were just that entertaining.
1. Foxy: My Life in Three Acts by Pam Grier and Andrea Cagan
Turns out Pam Grier's life was fascinating even before she started making movies like Coffy and Foxy Brown.
2. Wilson by Daniel Clowes
Soon to be a movie directed by Alexander Payne.
3. The Making of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back by J. W. Rinzler
4. The Walking Dead Volumes 11 and 12 by Robert Kirkman
At least the graphic novel is still good after we got the terrible TV show that thinks people bickering equals drama.
5. Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach

Internet
1. The Bed Intruder Song

2. I Feel Better Video

3. Damn You, Autocorrect!
4. Netflix
I'm watching it now!
5. Bleedingskull.com
I wouldn't have found out about Desperation Rising, Kill Squad, Zombie Lake or Zodiac Killer without it.

Bad Movie Night
Not including the first 200 movies. I already made a list for those.
1. Samurai Cop
Easily in the top five ever. After that Hot Chip video, I watched this more than any other Youtube video:



2. Ninja Terminator
Just to represent my obsession with Godfrey Ho this year. We watched his Ninja Terminator, Ninja Thunderbolt and Scorpion Thunderbolt for BMN. Do I know the difference between those movies, especially considering I watched about 100 other of his movies this year. Not really. But I know they were hilarious, combined two unrelated movies (one side starring white people, the other starring Asian people) and all including the phrase "Golden Ninja Warrior".

3. Computer Beach Party
4. Skyscraper
5. Amazon Jail
Relegated to being the bonus third movie TWICE. It went beyond being the nudiest BMN movie ever and became the best forgotten BMN movie since Pieces.

Super NSFW but why are you working during the Holidays?

Recent LiveJournal Images

Today's Movies

That tag line is something that happens in the movie but it's a little like tagging Jaws as "Men in a boat sing a folk song".

Rerun Movie Night

People think they can escape Bad Movie Night movies by actually not coming. This is false. They will find you.

How much do I love Night Train to Terror? It's got the best theme song this side of Killer Workout's "Knockout". On the otherside it could go toe-to-toe with Las Vegas Bloodbath's. Chester Novell Turner did some good stuff with Black Devil Doll From Hell

(this is almost seven mintues of credits and music, don't watch this)


and Tales of the Quadead Zone. We need a BMN soundtrack. Night Train to Terror has both Bull from Night Court and Cameron Mitchell. No, this doesn't count as Mitchell's 10th movie, although it's his tenth appearence. Speaking of both music and Cameron Mitchell why am I just finding out this exists:



The back says the album made the Pope cry three times. It has good reviews from Sidney Poitier, Orson Welles and a couple governors. A collage of pictures of Mitchell is being carried on the back of Jesus. My My My My Mitchell.

Warning: love-making.


Oh, back to Night Train to Terror. I like it.

I already typed about The Boxer's Omen here. As you just read (right?) it was our first Shaw Brothers movie but since then we've seen The Super Inframan and The Mighty Peking Man. We're so well-rounded now! Oh, and as I was looking through a list of Shaw Brothers movies and came across some questionable ones: Guess Who Killed My 12 Lovers, Yellow Muffler, Cuties Parade, Fantastic Magic Baby, Oily Maniac, Hello Sexy Late Homecomers, Demon of the Lute and I Will Finally Knock You Down, Dad.

Here's what happened last week:

(Some of) Today's Movies and Related Films

And, of course, searching for 'best worst movie poster' brings up some people's idea of the best worst movie poster:

Documentary Movie Night

BMN staples L+D and more sporadic attendee Miles are moving to Tennessee. Maybe we should watch a movie filmed in Tennessee like Black Snake Moan, 21 Grams, Ernest Goes to Jail, The Country Bears, The Green Mile, Gummo, The People vs Larry Flint, The Firm, Ernest Goes to Camp, Silence of the Lambs, Days of Thunder, King Kong Lives, Starman, The Evil Dead, Nashville or Ernest Scared Stupid. Nah, let's do documentaries.

The Beaver Trilogy isn't the new Mel Gibson movie and its two future sequels,

(NSFW)


that doesn't even make sense. The Beaver Trilogy isn't out-of-print or all that hard to find but you do have to buy it directly from the guy who made it. What it is is a documentary. Sort of.

I blogged about Best Worst Movie the day after I saw Troll 2 for the first time. Over three years later it's finally on DVD. The day I first saw Troll 2 was also the first day I met L+D. I like bookending friendships.

Here's what happened last week:

Today's Movies

Google Translate tells me that means Onset of the Panther Cat. That's a lot better than Amazon Jail. And since the Savage Beach poster isn't very interesting here's the ones from last week that I forgot to post but that I love:

Tropical Nudity Movie Night

Bonus:


The first nudity night was at the beginning of this year with Hard to Die and Hard Ticket to Hawaii. And you know how much I like bookending years.

Two of the plot keywords for Amazon Jail are Female Rear Nudity and Female Full Frontal Nudity so no sideal nudity for us. That's too bad, I love judging posture. Then the plot summary pulls me back: "Young women in the Amazon are kidnapped by a ring of devil-worshipers, who plan to sell them as sex slaves." This is director Oswaldo de Oliveira's only English-language movie but based on some of the titles of his other work (Os garotos Virgens de Ipanema, Bacanais na Ilha das Ninfetas) it's probably representative.

While Amazon Jail takes place in the intertropical zone of Brazil, Savage Beach is set on the tropical islands of Hawaii. It's relatively new if you haven't heard of it. It is overrun by sea turtles and, fittingly for Friday, boobies.


Nice

If Leslie Nielsen continues to be dead on Friday we will celebrate his life by watching a movie that celebrates the life and jumping of Evel Knievel, who died three years ago yesterday. Viva Knievel! indeed. I love movies with exclamation points. It was filmed in California, which isn't tropical, but as a trade off we won't have to see Evel naked either. It's also Cameron Mitchell's 9th BMN movie, making him far and away the BMN leader. That guy was amazing:



Here's what happened last week:

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen

From Bad Movie Night movies Creepshow and Day of the Animals, where he wrestled a bear:

Killer Birds Movie Night

Until Eli Roth comes out with that Thanksgiving movie he keeps talking about based on his fake Grindhouse trailer, I've run out of Thanksgiving movies for Bad Movie Night. But I think birds eating people comes pretty close.

NSFW:


Joe Dante is the one who called the bird in The Giant Claw the all time dumbest 50's monster. He even made a movie about those kind of movies called Matinee, so he would know:



The Giant Claw came out one year before Plan 9 From Outer Space making it the oldest movie we've ever seen. Someday we'll watch Freaks from 1932. You know the Thanksgiving-y line "Gooble, gobble, we accept her, we accept her, one of us!". I like how the IMDB plot summary says the bird in The Giant Claw "has no regard for life or architecture". This is no architecture enthusiast man-eating giant bird.



Beaks has a place in Bad Movie Night pre-history. It was on TV late one Saturday night a few years ago after Marissa and I got back from a party. I realized what a great combination drinking and bad movies was. For some reason "Chicken As Live Animal" is a plot keyword. I don't know what that means.

Did you see the Entertainment Weekly poll about what the best worst movie is? Starship Troopers won but that movie is like that on purpose so people are stupid. From the others we've only not seen Xanadu and Grease 2. Any interest?

Here's what happened last week:

Today's Movies

Dino De Laurentiis Movie Night

Mario Bava. The man made Black Sabbath (yes, the band is named after the movie), Twitch of the Death Nerve (arguably the original slasher movie) and Kill, Baby, Kill (killer babies need the most attention). Then he made Danger: Diabolik. If you read anything from the fans of the movie you'll see they're outraged (OUTRAGED!) that this movie was an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. HOW DARE THEY! In realty the movie is ridiculous. Ridiculously cool but also the traditional ridiculous. Shockingly, the copy I saw didn't include the line, "Is that stud coming?" which I could only find at the end of this collection:



"You gonna be da worm face!" always makes me laugh. Dino De Laurentiis also produced Barbarella the same year as Danger: Diabolik. This guy pioneered camp! That's why I'm using all these exclamation points. It's fabulous! Diabolik is also one of my favorite things. Out-of-print!

De Laurentiis produced a lot of Stephen King movies: Dead Zone, Firestarter, Silver Bullet, Cat's Eye and Maximum Overdrive. MO is about machines coming to life and being really unhappy about it. Except the waffle iron. He's cool.

Here's what happened last week, reviewed by Siskel and Ebert:

Angry Police Chief Night

This could easily be Cop Night or LA Cop Night or 80's LA Cop Night or Endangered Child Helped by 80's LA Cop Night but I like the cliché of the angry police chief. Remember this in So I Married An Axe Murderer:

Tony Giardino: I'm having doubts about being a cop. You know, it's not like how it is on TV... And that's the other thing. You're too nice.
Police Chief: I'm too nice?
Tony Giardino: Yeah, you're too nice. Why can't you be like the Captain on "Starsky and Hutch"? You know, when you come in, and you haul me into your office, and you bawl me out because you're sick and tired of defending my screwball antics to the Commissioner? Why cant you do that?
Police Chief: Well, the truth of the matter is, I don't report to a Commissioner. I report to a committee. Some of whom are appointed, some elected, and the rest co-opted on a bi-annual basis. It's a quorum, so to speak.
Tony Giardino: A quorum?
Police Chief: Yeah.

That was funny. I wish it was on YouTube. But all they have is



Hollywood Cop director Amir Shervan is a mysterious figure. The most information I can find is in this brief blog post. It's worth a look if only for the first picture, which the guy bought off Ebay, and the intriguing comment by "Buck Striker".

Hollywood Cop is Cameron Mitchell movie number 8.



The last time we saw a Cameron Mitchell movie, Kill Squad, it was during Vigilante Night when we watched another Charles Bronson Movie, Death Wish 3. Cameron Mitchell movies go with Charles Bronson movies like chateaubriand and, say, Cabernet Sauvignon.

Bronson's Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects is directed by the guy who made Happy Birthday to Me, The Guns of Naverone and Cape Fear. It's a pretty sleazy film with plot key words like Frotteurism and Ephebophilia that you don't want in your search history.

Here's what happened two weeks ago:

Sunday in the Park

I think it was the 7th of November. Levi saw Chicago for the first time this weekend during the 2010 National Roller Derby Championships. The Dairyland Dolls lost in the first round to eventual forth place winners the Philly Roller Girls. But Levi doesn't understand cause and effect, much less the complicated rules of roller derby so he didn't care.

No Bad Movie Night

Booooooooooooo. No Bad Movie Night. But what should we watch (that I'm excited about) next? I just watched Faceless for a second time and it was great:



It stars Christopher Mitchum (seen in The Executioner, Part II), Robert Mitchum's less bad ass son:



He also stars in Ricco The Mean Machine where the best scene is a guy's penis being cut off and stuffed in his mouth. Skip to 3:10 for that but really skip to 3:50 to listen to this guy talk:



How about Sole Survivor, which is Final Destination but more measured and seventies-y:



The retribution of tormented souls is about to be unleashed!

Maybe we should do animation night. Possibly with Fantastic Planet:



How about the Exorcist rip-off, Beyond the Door?:



The Devil's Sword, Virgins from Hell or Mahakaal, a Bollywood Nightmare on Elm Street:



Five Element Ninjas, Ninja Champion, Dragon Lives Again, which I think was the inspiration for the Around the World Daft Punk video,



The Prowler, Kung Fu Zombie, Cobra, Phase IV, White Fire:



Mafia vs Ninja, Maximum Overdrive, Ong Bak... Those are just the movies I've been sitting on for more than a year that I could think of.

This could go on forever.

Halloween Movie Night

So Halloween. I didn't ask anybody to wear costumes this year because, honestly, I don't have one myself right now. I figure I have to incorporate the beard somehow. Marissa wasn't into "werewolf in mid-transformation".



You can still wear one if you like. To join you I'll make a "nudist on strike" sign or something lame like that. I always thought a funny variation would be the nudist scab, which would just be a naked person. Because genitals are funny!

Or how about the killer from Long Island Cannibal Massacre. Remember? It was a guy with a pillowcase over his head and welding goggles:



I have those things. Trouble is it might make the movies hard to see.

Oh yeah, the movies. I don't mean to downplay them. They're great! FleshEater has the perfect bad zombie movie logic. When the people see ONE zombie they go and start boarding themselves into a farmhouse like they've already seen a zombie movie. The only people that know the genre of movie they're currently in are some post-modern Kevin Williamson bullshit teenagers.

And An American Werewolf in London is maybe in my top five horror movies ever. It was part of the Great Werewolf Movie Wars of 1981 along with The Howling and Wolfen. It was the clear winner. It's somehow the second movie we've seen starring David Naughton, the first being Midnight Madness, who first gained fame for this:



All that's left is Hot Dog...The Movie:



An American Werewolf in London is nothing is like this poster:



Which makes it look like Hot Dog...The Movie or some crap.

Hey, that last post was our 200th post! That's-- Is that anything?

Here's what happened last week:

The Room Remix

Massacre Movie Night 2: Slumber Party Edition

Does anybody remember the first Slumber Party Massacre? Some guy with a drill killing scantly-clad ladies?



It was one of those movies that was edited to remove all the boring parts so came out around 45 minutes. We watched it with one of my favorites, The Last Slumber Party. I know you homos remember that one:



Well, we're watching the two sequels, with all the boring parts intact! The closest we've come to seeing a complete trilogy is watching the remake of Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead and Land of the Dead (skipping Day of the Dead). We could complete two more by watching Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out! and Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland.

We've even watched Hard to Die, which is a pseudo-Sorority House Massacre III but for some reason uses flashbacks to Slumber Party Massacre.


Here's what happened last week:



And how about one more massacre from the past: