Today's Movies

Cut for Marissa's eye issues:

Chicago Movie Night

The 90's are considered lean times for horror movies. Remembering the lessons of 1988's Child's Play, however, the people that set their movie in Chicago actually made some good films.

Candyman takes place in the same setting as Good Times, Cabrini–Green:



Which explains that episode where J.J. is shot by a sniper. The titular character in Candyman is played by the guy who played Ben in the Night of the Living Dead remake. It stars Virginia Madsen who, briefly, was going to be a star after Sideways. Wha happa? Somehow it has a score by Philip Glass. The movie is based on the Bloody Mary in the Mirror legend. What a perfect time to drink Bloody Marys!

Both movies have talented writers. Candyman has Clive Barker, Stir of Echoes has Richard Matheson who wrote Duel, I Am Legend (the book) and, oddly, Jaws 3-D. Hypnosis figures significantly into the plot and Virginia Madsen says that she was hypnotized during some scenes in Candyman. Chicagoans love to be induced into imaginative role-enactment by decreased peripheral awareness. How-dee.

Here's what happened last week:

Today's Movies

The poor quality of today's movies extends to their posters:




Although I kind of like this one:

Punishment Movie Night

Marissa questions the wisdom of punishing people for not coming to BMN when they come to BMN. She may have a point. In reality I cant find many bad things said about these movies. They're just very poorly made.

I tried to find another connection between the two movies. The best I could come up with is N.G. Mount followed Ogroff with a movie called Operation Las Vegas.



Look!, it stars Godfrey Ho favorite Richard Harrison!



I have to get my hands on that. I could have sworn nobody in Ogroff went on to do anything else. But it turns out this will be the third BMN in a row to see actor Howard Vernon, who I'd never heard of until he played the mayor in Zombie Lake and one of the doctors in Faceless. Another theme could be carnage since the English title to Ogroff is Mad Mutilator. I think Ogroff is French for Ogre. We don't watch too many French movies because they're usually so French-y.

I avoided showing Las Vegas Bloodbath when people were pregnant because it wouldn't be appropriate. You'll see what I mean. Hope you've kept your legs together or, alternately, stood up and jumped after sex. That works.

Here's what happened last week (NSFW at 1:50):

Today's Movies

The Faceless poster is a couple of posts down so here are posters that come up when you search for "faceless poster":

The Local

I noticed something weird while reading the local news today:



What's happening? And then I looked ever closer:

Plastic Surgery Movie Night

This could easily be called Eurotrash Night. There's something about European trash that's classier than American trash, you know?

White Fire is the name of a diamond so this movies plays like an European Romancing the Stone but with bushy Turkish mustaches and lesbian cults.



I feel like it's a BMN original because I came across it by chance and there are very few reviews of it on the Internet. All of those reviews are very enthusiastic so that makes me less worried this will be like the last "original" BMN movie, a children's bigfoot movie called Cry Wilderness that everyone hated. Except when bigfoot ho-ho-hoed like Santa. At least White Fire has Robert Ginty, who you know as the Warrior of the Lost World or more likely "Paper Chase Guy" if you're a certain kind of person. It also stars Fred (1990: The Bronx Warriors) Williamson who's in a movie called Warriors of the Wasteland that I always confuse with Warrior of the Lost World. Let me study the posters to differentiate:



No, wait, I'm actually thinking of 1987's The Secret of My Success.

Hey, I just mentioned Faceless in the last post. Mentioning Faceless got me excited to see Faceless again. Faceless, people, Faceless! For a movie called Faceless there sure are a lot of recogizable people in it. Ha! We got Christopher Mitchum from the terrific The Executioner, Part II, Caroline Munro from Don't Open Till Christmas, Slaughter High and Starcrash, the guy who voiced Magmar in GoBots: War of the Rock Lords and the mayor from Zombie Lake.

Here's what happened last week:

Rivers and Lakes Movie Night

It's a new year for Bad Movie Night. I still have lots of movies like Desperation Rising, The Last Dinosaur, blaxploitation galore (a veritable blaxploitationaplooza), rat movies and a mountain of Godfrey Ho movies if anyone is interested.



No one? Well, this year should be fun until it sees the slow, sad decline and eventual loss-of-interest and cancellation of BMN.

Jean Rollin was born to eternal life last month but not before leaving us movies like Fly Me the French Way, Hyperpénétrations, The Grapes of Death, Discosex, Folies Anales and Zombie Lake. Apparently he regrets making Zombie Lake after Jess Franco (Bloody Moon) turned it down. That should be a goal for the new year, more Jess Franco movies. Faceless people, Faceless!



In any event, if you could weigh the amount of nudity in this film you would get a reading of tons. It might make up for missing Amazon Jail (which you did). This is the only shot from Amazon Jail I could use and I still had to censor it a little:



I love that scene. Hey look!, a waterfall.

Other aquatic Nazi zombie movies include Shock Waves, Dead Snow and Oasis of the Zombies.

Some reviews:

"ZOMBIE LAKE is one of those rarified cult gems that next to no one will admit liking, yet every fan of bad movies has probably seen it at least once. And if they haven't, then they can turn in their Bad Movie Club Card™"
-Badmovies.org

"Zombie Lake is inevitable magic... both a mistake and a triumph"
-Bleedingskull

"The second aquatic Nazi zombie movie ever made is also one of the WORST zombie movies ever made."
- Eccentric Cinema

Before you buy Piranha 3-D, which comes out next week and I'd appreciate if you'd use this link when you do,:



watch the original Piranha. They called the new one a remake but since it bears almost no resemblance to the 1978 version they should have made it a sequel. It would have been part 3, making it a clever rip off of Jaws 3-D. Then they could make a fourth movie where piranha roar, follow people over hundreds of miles (even though they took a plane)and make boats bleed. All of which happens in Jaws: The Revenge.



Besides an exceptional writer and director, Piranha has an amazing cast. It has Barbara Steele, who we last saw in Caged Heat. Death Race 2000 director Paul Bartel is in it, who's also showed up in Chopping Mall, White Dog, Eating Raoul and Rock 'n' Roll High School, almost always with Mary Woronov. And speaking of people we're keeping track of, I'm adding Piranha's Dick Miller to that list, who we've seen in Rock 'n' Roll High School, White Dog (Again? Why is the only thing I remember about White Dog the accidental nudity) , Chopping Mall and Night of the Creeps.



Here's what happened three weeks ago: