Wilderness Movie Night

Why are there so many horror movies that take place in the forest? I think it’s because you don’t need a shooting permit out there. Or at least there’s no one to ask you for one. Well, here are two movies that saved a lot on set decorating.

I look at Cry Wilderness as a BMN original. I discovered this movie while looking for James "Lady Street Fighter" Bryan films on Netflix. Cry Wilderness happens to have an actor by the same name. When I saw it was a boy meets Bigfoot (think E.T.) movie I had to get it. It's so unsung there are no YouTube videos of it, a rarity. It pre-dates the other family friendly bigfoot movie Harry and the Hendersons by four months. It also marks our first non-Demon-in-the-title bigfoot movie. Best of all the director made one of the segments in Night Train of Terror, a movie I regret making a bonus third film at BMN because in retrospect it deserved better. It's amazing!



Hey, the whole thing is on YouTube not chopped up into 10 minute bits.

Just Before Dawn stars Jack Lemmon's son Chris who you remember from the Knight Rider-but-with-a-boat show Thunder in Paradise:



(Geez, maybe it's good there aren't extended opening credit sequences on TV anymore.)

but I remember from the sitcom Duet:



Hmm, why was I watching this when I was 12?

It also stars Gregg Henry, who we already saw as the mayor in Slither and has been in five Brian De Palma movies but may forever be Logan's dad on Gilmore Girls.

And then there's George Kennedy. It's going to be the third time we see Kennedy, after Uninvited and Demonwarp. He plays that horror movie staple; the old guy that warns the kids not to go forward. The kids always go forward.

If you need any more reason to see this movie, it's from the director of Squirm.



That's the only Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie that I had seen previously. Wouldn't a Squirm/Slugs movie night be awesome?

If you need an excuse to stay away, it's from the director of Neverending Story III.

I only need one picture for the Here's What Happened Last Week:



Super Inframan also inspired me to make this:



This was just for fun:



Alright, if you really need a video, somebody made a highlight reel of every crazy/funny thing that happened in Invincible Super Chan:



Except for my favorite part where two guys go into fake slow motion.

The 'Stache Bash...

...is more entertaining than it has any right to be.

Similarly Named Chinese Movie Night

If there's ever a week where I'll get that question, "Which movie is this one?" it's this one. So study it right now. The first movie is called Invincible Super Chan, the second one The Super Inframan. Now, you're going to want to call that second one Super Infrared Man but if you do you'll look like a fool. He's an inframan, not some guy who can see electromagnetic radiation with a wavelength between 0.7 and 300 micrometres. What kind of stupid power is that? Ooo, I can see at night and determine the temperature of objects. Wait, that is handy.

I always feel the need to mention when a movie is out-of-print. You can only see Invincible Super Chan this Friday unless YOU have the $1.60 someone is selling it for on Amazon. There's a rumor that this movie was banned in 34 countries. I don't see why that would be. I bet the average movie is banned in 34 countries. I hear Malta once banned a movie just for snoring too loud.

The Super Inframan is another Shaw Brothers movie, the only other we've seen being The Boxer's Omen. Remember how crazy that movie was? No you don't! I was the only one there for that movie and I fell asleep. The Super Inframan is the only movie Roger Ebert changed a rating on; bumping it up from 2.5 to 3 stars 22 years later. He said it's his favorite Hong Kong monster movie and "I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that film."


Here's what happened last week:

PCP Movie Night

I'm at a drug-impaired driving conference right now so I would like nothing more when I return to Wisconsin than to hear more about drugs. So I've lined up two movies about the dissociative anesthetic (learning!) PCP. You know: angel dust, supergrass, killer weed, sherm, loopid, embalming fluid, rocket fuel? I only made up one of those.

Wild Beasts is about zoo animals drinking PCP laced water who then go around killing people. It's pretty amazing how they managed to train all the animals in this. They have a cheetah running down a city street! Um, this is one movie we may not want to play the "time to first boobs" game. Trust me, this movie is...Italian

Disco Godfather is another Rudy Ray Moore blaxploitation movie. I know dudes!, I was sick of blaxploitation too after watching four movies in February. Then I watched DG and it was glorious. I try not to ruin movies before we watch them so I'll just say I love how that one guy does his stuff. And when what's-his-name has the thing when he you-knows. And how, at an event, they alternately want to (beep) and #@&%. I could go on. Anyway, the PCP comes in when, at a rally, they alternately want to "Attack the Wack" and "Wack the Attack".

Here's what happened last week:

Bad News Guys

My Zapped! was cracked:



Also, I thought this was funny:

Don't Miss Lists

These are movies and music that my local library just got and that I've put on hold or not.

Movies

Cold Souls - This is a movie about Paul Giamatti giving his soul to a company but "complications ensue when his soul gets lost... The film then follows Giamatti desperately trying to find his soul." Sound familiar? It's almost the exact plot to my favorite Simpsons episode, "Bart Sells His Soul".





How to Stuff a Wild Bikini - Hey!, an opportunity to listen to Tullycraft's How to Stuff a Wild Bikini:



Fuzz - Since Mustaches for Kids has started, I thought I'd mention Burt Reynolds was in a movie called Fuzz.



Shredder - I feel pressure to get what ever terrible horror movie the library acquires. It's just so random that they have this movie. I've never heard of it before but the description helped me summon the willpower to not get it.

When seven sexy snowboarders break into an abandoned ski lodge for a weekend of hot partying and heavy powder, they soon find themselves stalked by a psychotic killer who plans to put them all on ice.

The House of the Devil - I already got this from Netflix but it was very good. It came out last year but copies the style of an early eighties horror movie. This is not the VHS copy they made!

Trick 'r Treat - Former bad movie night movie. I should have waited for the library copy. But good for you library, you're getting some good stuff.

Ren zhe wu di (Five Element Ninjas) - Holy shit. Soooo random. If you looked at my Netflix queue all the movies are rated two stars or worse. But there was one odd movie that had four stars. This is it.

The Evil Dead Discs 2 & 3 - I just got the extras discs. In fact, I watched this last night. Seems the Ladies of Evil Dead somehow only just a few years ago heard about what a big deal Evil Dead is. Now they've turned it into a little business.

Dream a Little Dream - Moment of silence.



















Greatest Classic Films Collection, Sci-Fi Adventures: Them!, The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, World Without End, Satellite in the Sky - I don't know. Do I want all these? It's so easy to hit that request button but so hard to actually watch sometimes.

Carny - I don't know what this is exactly but I assume it's a rip-off of my movie, that's still in the poster stages, Carny Judgement:



Avatar - Everyone I know saw Avatar. Even the people that never go to movies. It's like they felt it was their duty as a member of the human race.

Capitalism: A Love Story - I like Michael Moore. I don't know what your problem is.

Masters of Horror - Ug, I got, like, 6 of these and I already have them at home and now I have no time or motivation to watch any of them. Oh, here are the Masters of Horror: Stuart Gordon, John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper and... Don Coscarelli? I guess he's the guy who made the Phantasm movies and Bubba Ho-Tep. Mick Garris is one too but I don't blame them for using the director of Critters 2: The Main Course. It's one of the few Easter horror movies.

Breaking Bad - On Demand took these away just as we started watching them. More like Off Demand, amiright?

Better Off Ted - From the makers of Andy Richter Controls the Universe, it was never on when I tried to watch it originally.

Okay, it was at this point that I hit my hold limit! I thought those days were behind me. This is a really good month for the Don't Miss Lists. So I had to delete a bunch of stuff if I wanted to put anything else on hold. Sorry Lorrie Moore, I won't be reading your new book any time soon.

Music

Activity Center, Tahiti 80 - Before you learn the format, guess which one is the title and which one is the band.

XXXX, You Say Party! We Say Die!

Congratulations, MGMT

Quarantine the Past, Pavement

The Roots of Kings of Leon, Kings of Leon

One Life Stand, Hot Chip - I'm obsessed with Hot Chip's new video. It won't hit you right away but just wait.

Birthday Movie Night

There's still birthdays to be had, including mine. So this week is all about me, me, me! I just hope getting older doesn't turn me into this 34-year-old.

Don't Panic is about Michael, who just turned 17. Which happens to be half my age. Christ. Last House on the Left was about a person (named Mari, kinda like Marissa [eerie]) turning 17 too. What is it about 17-year-olds that bring terror? Is it because senior's rule (I think that was the first Onion headline I ever saw)? I think this is our third "Don't" movie after Don't Go Into The Woods and Don't Open Till Christmas. The tag line is "Forget Freddie and Jason. Virgil's the newest nightmare in town". Your movie's villain is named Virgil?

Of course Happy Birthday to Me says ME, not you. Therefore it's about me. So I'm going to college somewhere that looks like Canada but is supposed to be America and people are being killed. I resemble Mary Ingalls and I may be responsible for the IMDB plot keywords "Panties Hit The Floor". Bleedingskull.com calls this "the The Ten Commandments of Slasher Films!" Hey, does anybody want to watch The Beaver Trilogy?

Here's what happened last week: