They Came Back Wrong

Today's Movies

Other ways to portray being murdered by a phone:

Killer Phone Movie Night

This is my attempt to get people off their phones at Bad Movie Night. Not that I'm completely innocent of the habit. I have to stare at my phone sometimes because my friends are so bad at Draw Something.

Open House is a slasher movie about someone killing real estate agents:



It's written by the guy who directed The Sandlot and Ed.



It would be Adrienne Barbeau's fifth appearance at BMN if you count her being the voice of the computer in The Thing.



I'm going to need a decision here... it.... doesn't count! That's okay, as long as Wes Craven's Swamp Thing exists, and it will from 1982 to forever, I think she'll make it.

I'm glad we're finally watching Open House, it was originally part of Real Estate Night with Homebodies but then I stole that movie for Eviction Movie Night. Say, if you could kill a real estate agent who would you kill? Surely not Double Down and I Am Here.... Now director/star Neil Breen!



Murder By Phone,


is the American cut of the Canadian movie Bells. It's twenty minutes shorter but presumably less gory. The Bells version has been put up on YouTube so which is it, shorter or bloodier?

An insane amount of people helped write Murder By Phone. They include the guy who wrote Pale Rider, the guy who wrote Turner and Hooch (and The Car!), the writer of the aquatic Nazi movie Shock Waves, The Abominable Dr. Phibes writer and finally a guy whose only credit is Murder By Phone. You know what they say about that many cooks. It makes the movie five times better!

Here's what happened last week:

Today's Movies

Human Invasion Movie Night

I don't think we've ever had a night where a significant portion of each movie takes place in space. So here we are on our 430ish movie with our first extraterrestrial sci-fi night. That means we'll hear names like Xarbia, Xur and Xandoxan. Oh, X, you're so xenophabulous.

You know The Last Starfighter. It was on HBO right after The Boy Who Could Fly. Which are by the same director incidentally. His name is Nick Castle and he was Michael Myers for most of Halloween.



Scary. He also directed Major Payne.



Huh, interesting.

Catherine Mary Stewart from Night of the Comet and The Apple is in The Last Starfighter. Wil Wheaton was all but cut out of The Last Starfighter but here the two are interacting in a scene:



Because I don't understand depth perception. Poor, tiny Wil Wheaton.

Forbidden World is not Forbidden Planet with Leslie Nielsen.



It's not Fantastic Planet, that weird cartoon we watched.



And it's not Galaxy of Terror. I'm not the only one to confuse the two, Forbidden World is often mistaken as a sequel to Galaxy of Terror, maybe because they share some of the same James Cameron-built sets.

Here's what happened last week:

Today's Movies

Insane Movie Night

I love when title screens go well together. Some of my past favorites are Nicholas Cage-Related Remake Night and Gene Simmons Night. Pocket Ninjas has objectionable Asian font and Criminally Insane has frowned upon unnecessary quotation marks so, bonus, they annoy copy editors!

Pocket Ninjas should be on IMDB's Bottom 100. It says you just need 1500 votes. So I don't know why it's not there but it would be tied for second worst movie ever. It would also be tied for the very worst movie we've ever seen at BMN, up there with Ben and Arthur on Gay Movie Night. I liked Ben and Arthur!



I briefly thought about showing a gay movie for mental illness movie night but they took that out of the DSM in 1974. Thanks a lot the marching on of progress.

The director of Pocket Ninja, Dave Eddy, produced the Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie I just watched called Future War. They made a joke about him. They also make a lot of jokes about Robert Z'Dar's face, which you can see up there in the header, on the right. You'll also see him in Pocket Ninjas. And you'll see him in this clip from Samurai Cop because it is my favorite clip that could ever be clipped.



You'd think there'd be no familiar faces in Criminally Insane what with the director's previous movie called Sex Weirdo being a start in explaining why but, bam!, there's George "Buck" Flower right there.



Here's what happened last week:

They Came Back Wrong

Today's Movies

Alien Invasion Movie Night

The first movie scheduled for Friday was last week's back-up movie Invaders From Mars. If you know how to read you may have noticed that it's no longer one of the movies. If you don't know how to read, well, I've never liked you. Invaders From Mars did set the theme for the night, however, while its reason for being dropped are long and complicated.

The director for The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension also adapted the screenplay for former BMN movie Big Trouble In Little China. Which isn't surprising because they have a similar tone.



It stars Peter Weller, John Lithgow, Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Lloyd, Vincent Schiavelli, Dan Hedaya, Yakov Smirnoff and Lewis Smith. What do you mean, "Who's Lewis Smith"? He's the Heavenly Kid:



The Alien Factor is only our second Don Dohler movie after Nightbeast but it was his first. That link mentions the documentary about Dohler, Blood, Boobs & Beast. In it he admits that for his first movie he wasn't aware that boobs were an option so it's the only one without any.

When I paired up Invaders From Mars with The Alien Factor I got all excited. I forgot how enjoyably bad it was. So all of the sudden Invaders From Mars didn't look so great. I needed a Buckaroo Banzai-level movie to compete. Oh, did I say the reason was long and complicated? I meant short and boring.

Here's what happened last week: