Last Salad Day

I just had my last salad. Ever. Okay, not ever but hopefully it will be awhile. It was a jalapeño sausage and Buffalo chicken tender salad. My first non-salad meal in a month will just be soup at work tomorrow. But to celebrate, for dinner I'm going to have a frozen sausage pizza with Buffalo chicken tenders on top and then another frozen pizza put upside down on top of that, essentially making a sausage/chicken quesadilla.



For the record, I don't feel any better, gained one pound and felt it was more of a chore than something I would do regularly. In conclusion, salad is unhealthy for you, it's less delicious than real things you could be eating and will debase the value of your life. It was a good experience though.

PCP 2 Movie Night

With bonus:


If our 300th Movie Night was equivalent to last year's Lonely Lady/Showgirls Showbiz Horror Night then this is the Skyscraper/Samurai Cop Blond Helicopter Pilot Movie Night. Which is kind of a legendary night, relatively, in its own small circle, in my own mind. Seems we're on our way to have a similar attendance too.



I never imagined when we had PCP Night with Disco Godfather and Wild Beasts, one of my favorites,



that there could be an even better one. Perfect for our 3rd anniversary, which is coming so soon after our 300th movie because we skipped a lot of BMNs last year. As for gifts, the traditional 3rd year present is leather. But we watched Cruising last week.



A more appropriate gift would be whippits.



With Friday also being the End of Salads it should make for an exciting night.

Desperate Lives has Tom “Thrill Me” Atkins in it.



It's not to be confused with Desperation Rising, Desperate Living or Angel Dusted. Angel Dusted is the other Helen Hunt TV movie about PCP from the early eighties. As tempting as a Helen Hunt PCP theme was there was no way we weren't going to watch Death Drug.

Although made in 1979, Death Drug is introduced by a Philip Michael Thomas that mentions Miami Vice (1984–1990). In the middle of the movie there's a music video for PMT's "Just The Way I Planned It" from his 1985 album Living the Book of My Life.



So it's a movie that doesn't exist in a specific time and place but rather in ideas and feelings.

I just watched the first 7 minutes of "The Connection" episode of T.J. Hooker and it looks amazing. Anything PCP is amazing.

Here's what happened last week (NSFW):

Today's Movies

More Cruising to be had:

Salad Day 23

Almost a week left of this stupid month and its stupid salads with stupid lettuce. I feel like I'm eating rotting leaves all the time. Still, pickles on salad are great!

It's definitely forcing me to want to eat out more. Eating salads is so expensive! So Culver's Garden Fresco continues to be a staple and may in the future, especially with buffalo chicken fingers on it. I had the chicken caprese salad at Red Robin. I can't wait for July so I can have their Five Alarm Chicken Sandwich though.



Which reminds me I need to put jalapenos on my salad. Hey, is reading a blog about eating salad as boring as eating them?

Gay Movie Night

Sure we had Inadvertently Gay Movie Night with Evil Laugh and Nightmare on Elm Street 2.



And we've seen things like The Apple, The Lost Boys and The Lonely Lady which have a definite gay vibe but we've never had an out-and-out, overtly Gay Movie Night. You know, like flaming. This is all in honor of LGBT Pride month this month. Pride month was first announced in 2000 by President Clinton and then again in 2009 by President Obama. I don't know how to account for the gap. I guess America didn't have a President then.

Ben & Arthur has been called the gay The Room and the gayest room is, of course, the foyer. I don't know where I was going with that, let me start over.

Ben & Arthur will be the worst movie we've ever seen according to IMDB, supplanting Space Mutiny which previously beat R.O.T.O.R. In fact it's number 7 right now. The movie is so cheap its official website is on Angelfire. The director wrote this article on how to cheat the unions to make a movie.

Cruising (or as it's known in Peru Cruising: Submundo Homosexual) taught me a lot about the handkerchief code. It also caused me to throw away my teal hanky. Being slightly colorblind I'm glad I don't have to rely on this code. "Is that fuchsia or magenta? Are you into spanking or armpits!?"

It's mostly gay men represented this movie night. Someday we'll have lesbian movie night, probably with vampires. There's always lesbian vampires.

Here's what happened last week:

Great Garage Sale finds yesterday!

The whole family went for a walk yesterday to the library. on the way, we found some great stuff. i purchased a bicycle seat for Levi, a dinosaur pop-up book, and a chair for $5.25


Raimi got really tired during our walk, so we put him in the bottom of Levi's stroller!

Today's Movies

Completist Zombie Movie Night

The last zombie night was Lucio Fulci Night. This one will fill the gaps between Dawn and Land of the Dead and Zombi 2 and 4: After Death that have been bothering me more than when I can't wash my hands seven times before leaving for work.

Actually, Lucio Fulci started directing his sequel to Zombi 2 but unfortunately had a stroke. But every coin has a silver side because that stroke resulted in the bumbling duo of Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso being brought in. The two of Strike Commando and Rats: Night of Terror fame. Zombi 3 will connect us to Zombie 4 (yes, all of the sudden with an E now) which we watched with the racist dog movie White Dog. It does leave Zombie 5: Killing Birds out in the cold. I considered showing that one with Birdemic, which would have made it a more thematic night. Then we would truly be completing the series. Crap, why didn't I do that? Oh, yeah, because Desperation Rising is awesome:



Dads, before going on a murder spree take some time out to listen to your son's new rap.

Day of the Dead may be Romero's talkiest zombie movie but it also has the best make-up of any zombie movie and the best title card. Look at it up there! Does someone want to buy me the action figure of that guy? His name is Dr. Tongue:



Right before his appearance a guy says "hello" a lot, something the Gorillaz took a liking to:



Here's what happened last week:

Salad Day 14

Two weeks in and I'm starting to think lettuce is one of the most disgusting things on Earth. This is a ball of leaves you found on the ground! So yesterday, after 13 days with just one, small slice of pizza as a snack, I tried out a pizza salad. This was just my regular salad but with strips of pizza on it. It was better than you think but, also, I never want to do it again.

So I'm going to look into ways of reducing the lettuce, possibly by upping the tomato quotient.



I did have one delicious taco salad at Tex Tubb's Taco Palace pictured above. Also, my sesame chicken salad was not a complete failure.

Oh, and can I get a ruling on if cucumbers and pickles are different foods or not?

Ruling: With no answer within two days cucumbers and pickles are different!

Today's Movies

More Savage Streets posters in order of Linda Blair's bosomy-ness.

School's Out Movie Night

It's become a tradition to watch school-set movies at the beginning and end of summer. It started with Girls Nite Out and Final Exam in May of 2009

NSFW:


continued with Malibu High and The Majorettes the following September.



And last year we watched Fatal Pulse with Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever in May

NSFW:

Sadistical?

and I forgot to do something in September. So here we are here now. Hi.

Think of King Frat as like Computer Beach Party, a favorite of mine. It's a comedy that isn't funny but starts to be funny in its terribleness. That's pretty rare. It's like the horny nurse scene in Samurai Cop:



Now this is clearly supposed to be some kind of comic relief in the movie but it's terrible. It's kind of so amazing in its awfulness, however, that it goes back to being funny. It sort of blows my mind.

After years of considering it I finally bought the out-of-print Savage Streets. Five days later Code Red announced they were re-releasing it. Oh well, it's not out yet so see it only at my house.

Savage Streets is a rape revenge movie staring Linda Blair, who's always almost appearing at BMN. She was in Airport 1975, we watched Airport '79.She was in Chained Heat, we saw Caged Heat. We almost saw her in Exorcist II: The Heretic but at the last moment I dropped the exorcist theme and we just watched Piranha instead. It's finally happening for her.

This will be Linnea Quigley's 8th BMN movie.



It's been a long time but she's never been cuter than she is in Savage Streets.

Here's what happened last week (with help from Rifftrax):

Salad Day 6

I'm closing in on my first week of Salad Month with only a few bumps in the road. I skipped dinner on Thursday (salad's more filling than I thought) but I did have a piece of chocolate pie. The question is, did I really skip dinner or did I have chocolate pie for dinner therefore violating the salad rules?

I also had the most bullshit salad yet. After the delicious brat salad from Levi's birthday party pictured above I had another with one carrot (because I hate carrots and I ran out of cucumbers), two grape tomatoes (because I was running low on tomatoes), a normal amount of corn, romaine and spinach and TWO brats.

But I also had a moment of actually appreciating Salad Month when I was forced to order something new at Bluephies:

albuquerque chicken
mixed greens topped with jerk chicken, chipotle vinaigrette, black
bean-corn relish, smoked tomato salsa, and tortilla strips. 12.99

and it was delicious. I counted black beans as vegetables but I think I was covered with the mixed greens as well.

Today's Movies

Since the highest quality Desperation Rising poster/cover looks like this:



And Birdemic doesn't really have a poster, let's look at some fan made ones.



Before we get to more, here are some stats for the first 300 movies:

Zombie Movies: 29

Non-horror Movies: 86

Movies From the Last 10 Years: 16

Sequels: 21 but 3 of them are fake.

Movies Not Seen By Anybody But Me: 4

Successful Third Movies: 10. We once went 13 months without anyone staying for a third movie.

And of course, the stars:

Cameron Mitchell: 9

Linnea Quigley: 7

Clu Gulager: 5

Mary Woronov: 5

Dick Miller: 5

I don't know why we aren't keeping track of Paul Bartel. It seems like 5 movies gets you into the club. So:



The 202nd to 300th movies are:

Flash Gordon
Darkman
Land of the Dead
Blue Velvet
Pin
The Stepfather
Godzilla's Revenge
Mighty Peking Man
One Dark Night
Mausoleum
Skyscraper
Samurai Cop
The Beyond
Zombie
Ninja Terminator
Ninja Thunderbolt
Escape From New York
Fright Night
Scorpion Thunderbolt
Starcrash
The Hitcher
Breakdown
Evilspeak
Computer Beach Party
Troll
Neon Maniacs
The Car
Duel
Slugs
Tremors
The Wicker Man
The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Kill Squad
Death Wish 3
Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park
Runaway
Woodchipper Massacre
Northville Cemetery Massacre
Slumber Party Massacre 2
Slumber Party Massacre 3
FleshEater
An American Werewolf in London
Hollywood Cop
Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects
Danger: Diabolik
Maximum Overdrive
The Giant Claw
Beaks: The Movie
Viva Knievel!
Savage Beach
Amazon Jail
Beaver Trilogy
Best Worst Movie
(Night Train to Terror, Boxer's Omen) Repeat Night
Zombie Lake
Piranha
White Fire
Faceless
Ogroff
Las Vegas Bloodbath
Candyman
Stir of Echoes
The Devil's Sword
Petey Wheatstraw
Super Soul Brother
Evil Spawn
Better Off Dead
Policewomen
Foxy Brown
Abby
Piranha (2010)
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble
Crystal Heart
Thunder of Gigantic Serpent
Dragon Wars
Shriek of the Mutilated
The Carrier
Soul Vengeance
Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice
Escape 2000
Strike Commando
Hausu
Rats - Night of Terror
Deadly Eyes
Godmonster of Indian Flats
Black Sheep
The Zodiac Killer
Zero Hour!
Airport '79: The Concorde
The Last Dinosaur
Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend
The Day Time Ended
Donnie Darko
King Kong Lives
Rhinestone
The Stabilizer
Psychomania
Desperation Rising
Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Go here for the rest.

Now for more Birdemic posters!

Salad Day 2

A couple of crises already on day two. A new rule has surfaced:

Dressing must be a vinaigrette

The other problem: I was on the road during lunch. Luckily I researched fast food salads beforehand and found my best bet to be Culver's Garden Fresco because it has the most different vegetables. Cucumbers, tomatoes, snap peas and salad greens are in the description. The salad greens "may contain" romaine, mizuma, red chard, arugola, tango, red mustard, lolla rossa, red or green oak and/or tat-soi. As far as I can tell only three of those are different kinds of lettuce. That means this salad could have had up to 10 vegetables!

Unfortunately because of the new rule I had to get the 190 calorie French dressing instead of the healthier 130 "reduced calorie" ranch dressing.

And then I put a chicken finger on it.

Salad Day 1

During the month of June I'm only eating salads for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This was a challenge handed down by L&D and I accepted because they made no rule against how much salad dressing I could use.

The rules are:

Five vegetables per salad.

Vegetable-y fruits count as vegetables.

Different kinds of lettuce don't count as different vegetables but different greens do.

The salad needs to be the main sustenance of the meal. No salads with a side of T-bone.

Today's lunch salad is:


Romaine lettuce
Spinach
Tomatoes
Cucumbers
Corn
Croutons
A couple of pieces of chicken
Ranch dressing

Hold on, let me eat it...



It was delicious. I discovered you can't put the croutons in until just before eating it. The corn just kind of fell to the bottom. And I forgot to bring a fork to work. But it was enjoyable. I think the chicken saved it from being boring. I'm not going to blog every salad but a lot of them are going to be this.

I'm not doing this to lose weight but for the record today I weigh 221.