Wednesday, December 31, 2025

Best Movies of 2025 #15-1

If you're good with numbers you noticed there was no number 55. That's because I accidentally skipped the movie The Life of Chuck, which I had at number 69. Don't worry, it makes sense. I have now seen The Fantastic Four: First Steps. Put it somewhere between The Toxic Avenger and Wake Up, Dead Man. The 60's setting helps A LOT. I watched the documentaries The Alabama Solution and Folktales. The Alabama Solution is about Alabama's prison problem. Folktales is from the people that did Jesus Camp and it's about the opposite of that, a dog sled camp. Both movies are good.

15. Eephus

This movie is about a recreational baseball game. It's the last time they're playing on this particular field. The game goes later than expected. That's it. Good stuff!

14. I'm Still Here

This isn't the Joaquin Phoenix fake documentary movie of the same name. This also isn't I'm Not There, the Bob Dylan movie or I'm Not Here, a J.K. Simmons thing. She’s Still Here? That's some Mickey Rourke movie. I don't even think it was released. There's no way you're confusing it with that. Quit fooling around, this is a true political thriller.

13. Final Destination Bloodlines

This is the superior tower restaurant horror movie of 2025. It's just the opening scene but it's a great one. That's kind of this movie franchise's whole deal. It's one the year's top ten movie scenes, which I forgot I initially started numbering:

 

12. Vulcanizadora

When this got added to Kanopy, the free-with-a-library-card streaming site, I'd never heard of it. There's a lot of walking in the woods so it's what I like.

11. Weapons 

Along with Sinners this was the consensus stand out horror movie of the year. I've got three better but it does have one of the best scenes of the year. It's the ending though so it would be a spoiler to post it here.

10. The Rule of Jenny Penn

This is the third in my Old Folks Home Trilogy this year. John Lithgow bullies the other residents and it's sooo easy. Because they're old.

9. On Becoming a Guinea Fowl

This movie starts with the main character dressed as Missy Elliott when she finds the body of her uncle in the road. Slow down movie, you're grabbing me too hard.

8. The Ugly Stepsister 

I've always heard the Grimm's Fairy Tales are darker than the Disney versions. I knew the bit where the stepsister cuts some of her foot off to fit into the shoe. I don't know if the Grimm's had eye trauma and tape worms (best scene number, oh let's say 4) like this movie but here's hoping.

7. Pavements

Your enjoyment of this 75% (?) true story about the band Pavement is surely dependent on your interest in Pavement.  I mean, dialing it all the way back, your enjoyment of this may depend on how well you process moving images.

6. A House of Dynamite

I feel like this is a can't miss premise, a nuclear missile is headed to the US, but that's probably taking too much away from director Kathryn Bigelow. Some people have a problem with the ending like they have some great denouement endowment.

5. Hard Truths

This was on a lot of lists last year but it came out this year so I don't know how they did that. Actually, here, I'll do it too. Greenland 2: Migration is the best movie of 2025. See how easy it is to cheat?

4. 28 Years Later

The best horror movie of the year, its sequel comes out in a couple of weeks. So I'm declaring that the best horror movie of this year. Time has no meaning!

3. Misericordia

This is a French movie that I'd never heard of until it was listed as a new arrival at the library. It ended up being my favorite movie of the year at that point. So now I have to watch all movies in hopes for finding the best ones. One of the deaths in this movie is my 3rd best scene of the year because it shocked me so much. I was shocked!

2. One Battle After Another

Well, it was fun there for awhile hating on Paul Thomas Anderson. Mostly because There Will Be Blood isn't very good. Here he's made a chase movie, a genre he should probably stick with. It seems to be in his wheelhouse. Maybe get involved with that Hot Wheels movie. Number 2 best scene isn't the car chase but the foot chase. Maybe there could be a Skip-It movie. 

1. Sorry, Baby

The lead in this, Eva Victor, is so good I thought for sure she's been around, probably on some show that's talked about but I've never seen. Looking it up, she was on Billions which fits that description. She's also the director and writer of Sorry, Baby. That makes her the stand out artist of the year! Best scene of the year is the jury selection scene.

Tuesday, December 30, 2025

Best Televison of 2025

5. The English Teacher

This was cancelled. The lead might be a bad person. The jokes were funny though! 

4. Pee-Wee As Himself

This is a documentary in two parts, which makes it a TV show. If they kept it as one piece it would have been a movie and Hacks would be in the top five. Sorry Hacks, people like multi-part documentaries now.

3. The White Lotus

It's been awhile. I think I liked waiting to see if Jason Isaacs would kill himself every episode? Plus this blog has to mention Carrie Coon every year. Carrie Coon is good in this!

2. The Pitt

Just like the movie Dead of Winter it's nice to see people be competent. I could have done with less lines like, "Mr. Rodgers? The children's show? Filmed right here in Pittsburgh?" that are speaking directly to the audience. Usually when the TV speaks directly to me it just tells me to burn things.

1. Dying For Sex

This is a true story based on a podcast. Which explains those long Hello Fresh dinner scenes and why Michelle Williams never removes her Me Undies even though the show is about sex. Some liberties were taken, as the Wikipedia entry says "she did not break her femur kicking a partner's penis or have her pet visit her in hospital". You can't believe anything anymore!

Monday, December 29, 2025

Best Movies of 2025 #28-16

28. Train Dreams

This is on a lot of best of lists. My only problem is, especially with all those 70s movies, this was the millionth man surviving on the frontier movie I saw. The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams, Jeremiah Johnson, Dersu Uzala. Even in Carnal Knowledge Art Garfunkel makes a friend with a bear in the third act!

27. Caught Stealing

I never watched The Whale but all the reviews said this is Darren Aronofsky having fun again. I'm not sure when Aronofsky was having fun (Mother!?) but, sure, this was fun.

26. The Surfer

Nicolas Cage won't leave a parking lot and therefore goes insane. No, watching the movie won't make it make more sense to you and that's fine.

25. Sinners

You think I'm going to make that "history of black music" montage one of the scenes of the year. I'm not, but I appreciate the effort.

24. Eddington

People framed this as Ari Aster refusing to do a normal movie after the weirdness of Beau Is Afraid. It seemed pretty normal to me! There's no penis monster in this one.

23. One of Them Days

Here are the elements to any good movie: Shenanigans, everything happens on one day, that day is really hot. Do The Right Thing, Dazed and Confused, Dog Day Afternoon. It doesn't have to start with a D, just make it sweaty.

22. Nouvelle Vague

I can think of one other black and white movie about the making of a movie. Breathless can't compare to Plan 9 From Outer Space, though, so Ed Wood is better.


21. Dead of Winter

Never mind, make your movie cold. And the main character should be competent. It's so much more interesting that Emma Thompson knows what she's doing. And the bad guy should be a good shot. Just all around capable people.

20. Thunderbolts* The New Avengers

I forgot to watch The Fantastic Four before making this list. That would have been FOUR Pedro Pascal movies. I might have to start a list of movies I've seen with an asterisk in the title:

M*A*S*H 

*batteries not included

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask

Thunderbolts* 

19. Sly Lives! (aka The Burden of Black Genius)

I care about Sly and the Family Stone about as much as Led Zeppelin but this documentary made me interested. Also:

Airplane! 

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! 

Top Secret! 

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! 

¡Three Amigos! 

Mars Attacks! 

That Thing You Do! 

Baadasssss! 

Saved! 

Anvil! The Story of Anvil 

The Informant! 

SLC Punk! 

Viva Knievel! 

Zero Hour! 

Return of the Killer Tomatoes! 

Foodfight!

Gotcha!

Great Balls of Fire!

Machete Maidens Unleashed! 

Zapped!

Eaten Alive!

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Everybody Wants Some!!

Hail, Caesar!

Mother!

Silent Night Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!

Banned from Broadcast: Saiko! The Large Family

Salaam Bombay!

Yes, Madam!

1982: Greatest Geek Year Ever!

Jackpot!
 
Dig! XX
 
O Lucky Man!

Save The Dog! 

Oh, Hi! 

Sly Lives!

18. Flow

Because I watched this with my family it took approximately two months to watch in half hour increments. But there's a capybara in it so nothing could diminish my enjoyment.

17. Belén

This was the last 2025 movie I watched this year so thankfully it was good because I already started this list. 

16. Bring Her Back

This horror movie does to chewing on a knife what Psycho did for showers. You may continue to do it but in the back of your mind you'll be a little bit scared.

Sunday, December 28, 2025

Best Movies of 2025 #40-29

40. Companion

The poster kinda gives away the reveal. Why not learn from The Thing poster where there isn't even a flashlight face in the movie.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

39. Alien On Stage

This movie has been around for awhile but it just made its way around here. A bunch of bus employees put on a stage production of the movie Alien. Incidentally another poster that doesn't give anything away:

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The eggs don't break like that. 

38. Art Spiegelman: Disaster Is My Muse

A documentary about the comic artist that gets minus points for barely mentioning Garbage Pail Kids.

37. Familiar Touch

An understated movie about a woman going into a memory care facility. Along with the book Heartwood, this was the second of a trilogy of adult care facility related media I experienced this year. Sounds like a trend piece waiting to happen. Yeah, you can have it.

36. Black Bag

This is the second Steven Soderbergh movie this year. Both written by Pewaukee's David Koepp. In fact, that city recently debuted their new slogan, "Koepp Up The Good Work!" It's pretty bad.

35. The Perfect Neighbor

A documentary made up of almost all body cam footage. I had the funny thought that they could have opened with the typical drone footage and then cut to a cop flying in the air. It's not a funny movie.

34. Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery

This is pretty low for a Rian Johnson movie. It's my anti-anticipation syndrome. I'm not trying to figure out a mystery as it's happening. Maybe I'm not watching right.

33. The Monkey

Much was made in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 community how this is the plot to a movie they watched called Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. But that movie came out in 1996 and the Stephen King short story came out in 1980. So a rip-off of this movie came out 29 years ago. 

32. Nobody 2

This followed the Megan 2.0 path of being sillier. Is there a movie series that gets more serious? What if The Hangover movies had less and less laughs as they went on?

31. Mickey 17

Speaking of, Parasite was great and all but I think I like sillier Bong Joon Ho. Was Snowpiercer silly? The last people on Earth are all on a train? No, that's solid.

30. Sketch

The only movie on this list I watched twice. It's a family movie and after watching it I realized I should have watched it with my family. They liked it! 

29. Freaky Tales

A non-horror anthology movie is rare and this is a weird one. One story has two people doing okay in a rap battle with Too $hort? Another uses a real basketball game and player but imagines his family being brutally murdered during it? I think you need more knowledge of Oakland to get this movie and that's asking Too Mu¢h. I liked being confused actually.

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Best Songs of 2025

These could be in any order, really. But I put them in kinda-sorta order of number of times I listened to them. There are no songs from my top albums, which is sorta-kinda on purpose. Those albums are filled with great songs. That's why I liked them best!

 10. The Catastrophe (Good Luck With That, Man) - Car Seat Headrest

9. Full of Feathers - Wide Orbit

8. No Way Out - Hunx and His Punx

7. Friday the 13th - Reverse Pathogen

6. Hard Drive, Ontario - Kiwi Jr.

5. mangetout - Wet Leg

4. Football - Youth Lagoon

3. Bonnet of Pins - Matt Berninger

2. Liquorice - Freak Slug 

1. Savanah - DRAMA

Friday, December 26, 2025

Best Movies of 2025 #54-41

54. Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery

I also read the oral history Lollapalooza: The Uncensored Story of Alternative Rock's Wildest Festival that came out this year so I was steeped in 90s music festival documentation. Usually a documentary has a bit at the end trying to justify why the subject matter was important. This movie is all end bit. 

53. Queer

I watched this months ago but I think the ayahuasca scene erased my memory of the rest of the movie anyway. That's not a detriment and it's the second top ten movie scene of the year:

52. Oh, Hi!

I'm sure people are saying the main character isn't sympathetic but it's a sitcom-y movie. These are the same people that complain that people are too mean to Jerry on Parks and Recreation. More importantly, this adds to movies I've seen with an exclamation point:

Airplane! 

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! 

Top Secret! 

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! 

¡Three Amigos! 

Mars Attacks! 

That Thing You Do! 

Baadasssss! 

Saved! 

Anvil! The Story of Anvil 

The Informant! 

SLC Punk! 

Viva Knievel! 

Zero Hour! 

Return of the Killer Tomatoes! 

Foodfight!

Gotcha!

Great Balls of Fire!

Machete Maidens Unleashed! 

Zapped!

Eaten Alive!

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Everybody Wants Some!!

Hail, Caesar!

Mother!

Silent Night Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!

Banned from Broadcast: Saiko! The Large Family

Salaam Bombay!

Yes, Madam!

1982: Greatest Geek Year Ever!

Jackpot!
 
Dig! XX
 
O Lucky Man!

Save The Dog! 

Oh, Hi! 

51. Spinal Tap II: The End Continues

For the record I rate the movies right after seeing them so this didn't get any extra bump after director Rob Reiner died. A completely good enough sequel.

50. Better Man

If you're a movie reviewer and you go with the angle that, actually, the fact that Robbie Williams chooses to be depicted as a chimpanzee isn't the most interesting thing about Better Man just give it up right now. Of course it's the most interesting thing about the movie. It's insane.

49. Jay Kelly

I know George Clooney didn't write Jay Kelly but it plays like his ode to being an elderly new parent.

48. Presence 

We got two Steven Soderbergh movies this year and somehow the haunted house one is the lesser one? 

47. Cunk On Life

This was the first 2025 movie I saw. From what I can tell people in the UK are tired of this lady's shtick but I, only just recently familiar with her shtick, am still on board.

46. Warfare

Just a straight up well-made re-enactment of a true event. If true crime re-enactments are still a thing on TV try to get director Alex Garland to do them, he's good. Plus you might get some A-list actors on them for a change:

 

45. Friendship

Encountering Tim Robinson on I Think You Should Leave first has left me permanently worried that he's going to go nuts in everything else I see him in. He mostly hasn't to the same degree. Still, he would be a bad choice for Jack Torrance in a Shining remake.

44. Universal Language: Une Langue Universelle

This was a recommendation from a podcast, from Alicia Tobin on Stop Podcasting Yourself. So now I can thank her for this movie and this moment that I listen to seasonally:

 

43. The Toxic Avenger

I was really looking forward to this one. The director made I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore, which was great. And I've been a fan of the original Toxic Avenger since my mom suggested we watch it 40 years ago. It turned out just fine and the scene in the fast food place is a top ten scene of the year. But it's not online so here's the original:

 

It's about the same. 

42. Vermiglio

One of those 107 70s movies I watched was The Tree of Wooden Clogs. Vermiglio is very similar. It's of course fine to make movies that are alike, especially if they're separated by 50 years, but I saw them within weeks of each other so your movie's bad.

41.  Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning

The previous one was my favorite movie of 2023. The first hour isn't good but great news! There's still 2 hours to go at that point. Everything after is pretty good. Take your pick if the submarine or airplane scene is the best. But it's one of them:

Thursday, December 25, 2025

Best Albums of 2025

In the past I've looked at Best of the Year lists and picked my favorites from that because I don't listen to music anymore. Well, just like reading, I listen to music again! Except I only started the last week of September. So here are the best albums that came out since early fall.

5. The Rubber Teeth Talk by Daisy The Great


4. Backroads by Samara Cyn


3.  Pl*net F*tness by Pacing 


2. Swallow the Knife by Sir Chloe


1. Vice City Magic by Mustard Service 

Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Best Movies of 2025 #67-56

67. Hedda

Some critiques of this movie said it changed too much from the Ibsen play. I have the advantage of not knowing a single thing about the Ibsen play. After watching, I don't know if they should have made it closer to the play but they should have made it further away from this.

66. Marcella

An informative documentary about Italian cook Marcella Hazan that isn't especially cinematic. It made me want to try the Roast Chicken with lemons. Also, I like how they mention multiple times about removing the onions from her tomato sauce before serving. Get outta here onions!

65.  Last Breath

Cliched movie about the true story of a deep-sea diver whose electron transport chain is interrupted when oxygen isn't there as a final electron acceptor! Thrillingly, his cells resort to anaerobic means to generate ATP, but it's not efficient!

64. Novocaine

I saw a documentary years ago about people that aren't able to feel pain. It's also tied to your sense of urinary and bowel urgency so they had to set timers to remember to go to the bathroom. I can't remember if Novocaine, a movie about a man who can't feel pain, addresses this. Five stars if it did.

63. Heart Eyes

Sometimes a movie combines two things, like rom-com and slasher, disguising the fact that it's doing neither very well. That's fine, it works for M&M's and it sort of works for Heart Eyes.

62. The Materialists

This is only a rom-com so it's all laid bare. The movie suggests that women will throw themselves at you only for the fact that you're tall. I can assure them that there's some other factor that cancels out tallness but I'm not going to explore what it might be.

 61. War of The Worlds

This is on a lot of lists of worst movies of the year. I was entertained. Maybe not in the way the makers planned but you know I've always rejected authorial intent!

60. Superman

This is the first James Gunn movie I haven't been crazy about. He may be lost to DC like we lost Peter Jackson to Lord of The Rings or Florida to Burmese Pythons.

59. Drop

Not the best 2025 horror movie in a tower restaurant but firmly in the top two 2025 horror movies in a tower restaurant. 

58. The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

Maika Monroe plays Rebecca De Mornay. Upgrade. Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays Annabella Sciorra. Upgrade. Raul Castillo plays Matt McCoy. Downgrade. The kid is Mileiah Vega playing Madeline Zima. Remains to be seen.

57. The Shrouds

Imagine making a movie dealing with the death of your wife and some doofus on the internet says it was fine. 

56. Megan 2.0

People didn't like that they went more comedy/action this time around. Maybe they also didn't like Terminator 2 or Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. 

 Sometimes you have to switch it up!

Tuesday, December 23, 2025

Best Movies of 2025 #80-68


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once again I'm ranking every movie I saw from this year, starting from the bottom. So "Best" might not be the right title at this point. I don't want to say Worst, however, and I don't feel like the onus should be on the movie. These are the Michael Made The Wrong Choice Movies of 2025.

80. Ash

I have a disability to think ahead in a movie. When someone calls a movie predictable the best I can do is, after the fact, think, "yes, I suppose it was". I have anti-anticipation syndrome. It's a problem. But I was so far ahead of Ash that I knew no animals were harmed in the the making of this movie.

79. The Long Walk

Just like two years ago the second to last movie is a horror film a lot of people like. But The Long Walk holds your hand too much in telling its story and I'm just not into that kind of PDA. I like a movie that puts its hand in my back pocket so its touching my butt but also, kinda not?

78. Death of a Unicorn

I don't know if anything worked in this movie. In fact, it's shockingly high on this list and we just started. But I like what I wrote about the Skinamarink and The Long Walk parallel so DoaU gets some bullshit grade inflation.

77. Love Hurts

I resolve to stop watching movies early in the year just to watch a current movie. The beginning of the year will now be used to catch up on older movies. Like how I watched 107 movies from the 70s this year.

76. Marshmallow

Nobody makes sense in this movie so the whole time you're thinking either there's a revelation that makes it make sense or it's all dumb. But even if there's a revelation, was it worth it to be frustrated that whole time? Huh Marshmallow, was it worth it?

75. The Naked Gun

I've seen this on some best-of lists. People say you need to see a comedy in the theater because the laughter around you will heighten the experience. I don't know, I tend to agree with Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa who said, "The laughter of fools is the pronouncement of madness".

74. F1: The Movie

I was one of the few to dislike Top Gun: Maverick very much and now there's this. It's enough to strike fear in my heart whenever I hear director Joseph Kosinski's name, if only I could commit it to memory.

73. Clown in a Cornfield

Ha, take that Jason Kaczynski. Your movie is one marissa-michael blog unit worse than a movie called Clown in a Cornfield (to be sung to the tune of Girlfriend in a Coma).

72. AJ Goes to the Dog Park

After watching The Naked Gun I tried out this micro-budget ZAZ-type comedy. The amateur charm makes it slightly better. I amuses me that a lot of the bad reviews for this movie are from people that went to the same "mystery movie" showing thinking they might be seeing, as one person says, something like the new Jurassic World movie. It's like what Fernando Pessoa said: "Despondency follows those whose only hope is [for dinosaurs]".

71. KPop Demon Hunters

People like this too. I like to supply a second opinion so you can be informed. I had a problem with the story, animation and songs. Some people accepted those elements. 

70. Found Footage

I had a problem with The Watchers because it used the trope of someone walking away from a place only to find themselves back there. Scary[sarcastic]! This otherwise mediocre movie gets extra points for making fun of that by having the characters try different methods of beating it. In one, they try spinning in circles while walking away. It made me laugh. That makes it Movie Scene of 2025 #10.

69. Becoming Led Zeppelin

I don't have any special interest in Led Zeppelin. Neither, it seems, does Led Zeppelin. It's understandable they would be bored telling their story yet again but it didn't help sell their music to me. Someone once described skateboarding as an activity requiring the most skill for the least payoff. Led Zeppelin is the skateboarding of music.

68. John Candy: I Like Me

I'm tired of biodocs where the general tone is sadness. I don't need slow, treacly piano music in a movie about a comedian. Yes he died young but who wants a movie about someone's life that's mostly about their death? It feels like what the poet Pessoa said, "My life: a tragedy booed off the stage by the gods after only the first act". No, I mean it. I made up the other ones but that one was real!

Monday, December 22, 2025

Best Books of 2025


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You read that right, I started reading books again in 2025. And since books are the lowest art form after music, TV and film I'm going to tackle them first. 

5. The Harder I Fight the More I Love You: A Memoir by Neko Case

Neko Case's memoir is really not interested in rock and roll stories. She mentions things like releasing her first album and being nominated for a Grammy far after the fact. It's more about how she was so poor growing up she ate potato flakes out of the box for dinner.

4. Say Everything : A Memoir by Ione Skye 

I love a memoir. Sorry. I love: A Memoir. There's a point in this book where Ione Skye is dating Anthony Kiedis while making eyes at Ad-Rock, her brother Donovan Leitch is dating prettiest-celebrity-in-the-world Susanna Hoffs and her mom is seeing Warren Beatty. What is this family?


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy

This book keeps mentioning how cold it is but it's also constantly raining. Talk to me about cold when it's under 32 Fahrenheit, Australian writer Charlotte McConaghy.

2. Murderland: Crime and Bloodlust in the Time of Serial Killers by Caroline Fraser

The subtitle doesn't convey how this is about all the lead we poured into the atmosphere and how it causes aggression and may have led to an uptick in serial killers. How about Murderland: How Lead Led to Ted: The Bundy/Plumbum Conundrum. Why does nobody let me name books?

1. Heartwood by Amity Gaige

I read this because it involves the Appalachian Trail and I like hiking and woods. That strategy worked well so next I'm looking for a book about my second favorite thing: news bloopers.

Actually, stage productions are the lowest art form. I saw no stage productions this year.