Marissa & Michael: Best of 2013

Movies

1. The Kings of Summer

Nobody is talking about his movie. Maybe it's because the director looks like this.

Normally I wouldn't think anything of the silence. In the past the best movie of the year was a spoof of blaxploitation movies, a hyper-violent superhero comedy and male stripper dramedy (Incidentally, soon after Magic Mike I saw Looper. Looper is the best movie of 2012). But TKOS is a totally normal, summer coming-of-age movie that's only exceptional in its superior quality. Sorry The Way Way Back and Oblivion.

2. John Dies At The End

The fact that Phantasm's Don Coscarelli is still making great movies should delight you. Why are you so hard to delight? Your joy this year came from family and Two Broke Girls. How do you not hate yourself?

3. This Is The End

This was essentially a bottle episode in movie form. All my favorite actor-comedians played themselves except Brian Huskey who played a character and Danny McBride who played Danny McBride.

4. World War Z

It wasn't like the book. It's super you like not liking not books.

5. Iron Man 3

It was the highest grossing movie of the year for a reason. And the fifth reason is it's good.

Television

1. Orange Is The New Black

Articles on this show made you hate the term "binge watch". Plus, if OITNB was made for binge watching why did it have an interminable opening credits sequence? It wasn't the worst opening, however. Oh, plus I liked the show a lot.

2. Nathan For You

I watched this entire series at ~3 am with the new baby so I'm only pretty sure it was great. It's like a prank show that doesn't hate humanity.

3. Orphan Black

"O-word + [optional words] + Black" is the best equation for a great TV show since "Arthurian wizard + repair shop + doesn't matter what else, the first two are gold".

4. Masters of Sex

There's a beaver munching on a stick in the opening credits. For the love of god. A beaver. Munching. On a. Sti. ck.

Great show though.

5. (tie) Bob's Burgers/Enlightened

About Enlightened. I watched the first season of Veep and Enlightened this year because people said they got a lot better in their second seasons, which I then also watched. Veep was very good. The whole time. Brian Huskey was in it. As well as Bob's Burgers. That guy is the Danny McBride of interesting work.

But Enlightened was good in the first season and extra, super good in the second. I'm risking being Tyra who always rewarded improved top models over consistently great ones. WHEN I YELL LIKE THIS IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

Albums

1. I Hate Music - Superchunk

This album has a really fast, really loud song where the lyrics are mostly, "I'm staying home!". I feel like that sometimes.

2. RKives - Rilo Kiley

This is a rarities album with songs from a time when I still liked music.

3. We The Common - Thao Nguyen and The Get Down Stay Down
4. No Blues - Los Campesinos
5. Ski Mask - The Islands

Songs

1. We the Common (For Valerie Bolden) - Thao & The Get Down Stay Down

2. Runnin Around - Rilo Kiley

3. Step - Vampire Weekend

4. Nietzsche's Harvest Song by The Weaks

This just came out a week ago. I might still be in the honeymoon phase. Which is to say I'm finally ready to tell it all the weird stuff I like in bed.

5. We Can't Stop - Miley Cyrus

Also best video of the year.

6. Me and You and Jackie Mittoo - Superchunk

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7. What Death Leaves Behind - Los Campesinos

8. Nil - The Islands

9. Talk Dirty feat. 2 Chainz - Jason Derulo

Hey guys, sold out arenas you can suck my penis.

10. Hard Out Here - Lily Allen

I don't hear anything in Lorde that is as groundbreaking as people say but she reminds me of Lily Allen, who is still exciting.

Books

1. Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey by Joseph A. Ziemba and Dan Budnik

My favorite website wrote a book. About things like Winterbeast. I wonder if other websites I use a lot, like thesaurus.com, will follow suit. I tempestuously prognosticate that magniloquent, um, thing.

2. Hip-Hop Family Tree by Ed Piskor
3. Tenth of December by George Saunders
4. Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld
5. How To Fake A Moon Landing by Darryl Cunningham

Podcasts