There's still birthdays to be had, including mine. So this week is all about me, me, me! I just hope getting older doesn't turn me into this 34-year-old.
Don't Panic is about Michael, who just turned 17. Which happens to be half my age. Christ. Last House on the Left was about a person (named Mari, kinda like Marissa [eerie]) turning 17 too. What is it about 17-year-olds that bring terror? Is it because senior's rule (I think that was the first Onion headline I ever saw)? I think this is our third "Don't" movie after Don't Go Into The Woods and Don't Open Till Christmas. The tag line is "Forget Freddie and Jason. Virgil's the newest nightmare in town". Your movie's villain is named Virgil?
Of course Happy Birthday to Me says ME, not you. Therefore it's about me. So I'm going to college somewhere that looks like Canada but is supposed to be America and people are being killed. I resemble Mary Ingalls and I may be responsible for the IMDB plot keywords "Panties Hit The Floor". Bleedingskull.com calls this "the The Ten Commandments of Slasher Films!" Hey, does anybody want to watch The Beaver Trilogy?
Here's what happened last week:
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